Rotating Quotes

If someone says buttons should be orange and green because they test the best, drink

If your boss asks you to test 41 shades of blue, drink

If your boss asks you to test 41 different +1 buttons, drink

If your boss looks like Steve Jobs, buy a round

If someone demands the page must have breadcrumbs, drink

If a developer suggests you should learn HTML, CSS, and jQuery, drink

If you have to explain your job to your parents, do three shots of wild turkey

If someone tells you Flash is 99 percent bad, do a shot

If your boss says he's an expert because he reads Jakob Nielsen, drink

If your client says it has to be within three clicks, drink

If your client says it has to be baby blue because his mom likes baby blue, drink

If the branding guidelines guarantee an unusable user experience, drink

If someone writes a cryptic error message understood by nobody, drink

If you have to use a multiselect widget, finish the bottle

If a designer doesn't know Don Norman, Bill Buxton or Alan Cooper, do a shot

If your developers don't implement a feature because it isn't cool enough, drink

If you're asked about jQuery, CSS or HTML during a job interview, pound a PBR

If you have to tell someone he isn't the target audience, pound a shot

If someone calls you a web designer, do a shot and follow with a beer chaser

If a developer asks you for complete mockups and HTML, do a shot

If your boss quotes Steve Jobs, drink a Bud Light

If your boss dresses like Steve Jobs, do a shot

If your boss was Steve Jobs, everyone should buy you a drink

If you have nightmares about changing the wireframes for the 20th time, drink a Bud Light

If a recruiter calls and asks if you can also program, do a shot

If any discussion about UX begins with checking the resource schedule, do a shot

If someone says Basecamp has the best UX, break a bottle over their head

If the features were cut because they took too long to code, drink

If you're a UX designer and introducing yourself as a "web designer" backfires, drink

If someone says it has to work on Internet Explorer for Mac, do a shot

If someone uses fake statistics, drink

If someone asks you to write a 100 page spec by Monday Morning, do a shot

If your boss says we don't need to test, drink

If someone says gamification has to be added, do a shot

If someone says the site sucks without understanding the audience, do a shot

If your boss asks to go straight to design, drink

If someone calls you to fix the server, do a shot

If someone can't tell you who the target audience is, drink

If someone tells you the internet is a fad, drink

If you call yourself a UX ninja, rockstar or guru, buy drinks for the house

If someone says they can get a better design off of 99 Designs, drink

If a designer proudly shows you their meticulous concept sketches, do a shot

If someone says their business idea is like MySpace but better, do a shot

If someone asks what a wireframe is, drink a Chimay red

If your UX expert arrives wearing a black turtleneck, drink

If someone asks for a clean interface but can't explain it, drink

If you're told to design a feature even if the ROI is -20 dollars per user, drink

If someone says it's unintuitive but can't explain what it means, drink

If someone asks you to do wireframes for $100, drink a PBR

If a UX agency says they're better than a marketing agency, do a shot

If someone says the site has to work on IE6, drink

If the client says the site has to work on Netscape 4.72, take two drinks

If someone talks about how the site should work like AOL, do a beer bong

If someone says Web 2.0 is a requirement, empty the bottle of tequila

If someone suggests you should use feng shui to design a site, do a shot

If someone cuts wireframes from the proposal because he doesn't want to pay, do a shot

If you say to someone, "this will never work" and he still wants to do it, drink

If someone says he started doing wireframes in PowerPoint, drink

If someone says it's like Twitter except people pay, drink

If someone says it's like Facebook for people with no friends, drink

If your team gets upset because you changed the wireframes, do a shot

If someone pronounces GUI "Gooey," do a shot

If the UX expert waves their hands around, drink

If you design a feature and it is released a year later, drink

If the main navigation is hardcoded on every page, drink

If someone says, "Screw the users," drink a fifth of vodka

If you've successfully used UX as a pickup line, order a Macallan 12 on the rocks

If there's no budget for user research, drink

If a recruiter calls you about a UX role and asks about Java or WCF, drink

If someone talks about the user as an abstract concept, drink

If you own a UX book signed by the author, buy drinks for everyone

If your device autocompletes to something really embarrassing, drink

If perfect wireframes are a required deliverable, do a shot

Every time someone says Jakob, drink

If someone asks you to make the design sexier, drink

If someone talks loudly in the usability test observation room, do a shot

If you had lunch with Bruce Tognazzini, buy drinks for the house

If a website logo links to somewhere except the home page, do a shot

If someone says it's cool because it's fancy and blinking, drink

If the page reloads every time someone clicks on anything in a checkout process, drink

If someone asks you to remove bald people from the personas, drink

If someone can't get their head around wireframes, drink

If you're still researching and someone hands you scribbled page designs, drink

If someone uses Forrester reports to make design decisions, drink two pints of ale

If someone insists on having a huge Facebook widget on the home page, drink

If the website comes out nothing like what you designed, do a shot

If everyone is impressed when you mention ethnography, have a cognac

If you have to get consensus from two dozen stakeholders, drink a keg

If someone says, "It's just common sense," drink

If someone asks you to design the system architecture, do a shot

If someone says, "We trust your expert opinion" yet insists it should be pink, drink

If you spend most of your time producing instead of designing, fill your water bottle with whisky

If you've met Don Norman, buy drinks for the house

If someone says that you can't design user experience, drink

If your user research participant constantly describes how they think others behave, do a shot

If a UX designer tells you they don't need to do research, drink

If someone groans when you use the whiteboard, do a shot -- every time

If someone shows you a Venn diagram other than Peter Morville's, drink

If someone claims to specialize in more than one field, drink the bottle

If someone calls bullshit on your design rationale and they're right, buy them a beer

If you ask a designer what UX is and they say it's just wireframes, drink

If someone says, "I don't want to do your job for you" and then sketches on the whiteboard, drink

If someone says they don't want it to be "Web 2.0," drink

If someone says, "Above the fold," smash the bottle over their head

If someone confuses his opinion with a data-backed assertion, drink

If someone sets content requirements but can't describe the content, drink

If someone thinks eye tracking would solve everything, do a shot

If your team thinks Agile means endless changes and no documentation, finish the bottle

If someone thinks user acceptance testing is usability testing, drink

If someone wants 20 elements above the fold, drink

If someone asks where the fold is, drink

If a usability test participant says, "I like user-friendly sites," do a shot

If usability testing is administered by Marketing, drink

If you're doing wireframes without requirements, do a shot

If someone doesn't care if it works on mobile, drink

If someone says requirements aren't needed to do wireframes, have a martini

If someone sends you a job asking for UX, C++ and Social Media, drink

When there's no way to close the overlay, drink

If someone says, "From a usability perspective this is the best solution," do a shot

When the UX decisions are made by group vote, prepare a pitcher of margaritas

If someone finally asks for data, but says one week is enough time, drink

If someone cuts your user testing software from the budget again, drink

If a QR code doesn't lead to mobile-enabled content, drink

If a developer says it will be ready "next week," drink

When a feature works exactly as designed, buy a round

If someone always has "reasons" for features they dislike, drink

If someone says, "Usability doesn't win awards," do a shot

If someone is designing a system they have never used, do a shot

If you dress like Steve Jobs, strip naked and do a shot

If there's no time to question the usability in a meeting, drink

If someone says we need quick research, do a shot

If someone asks you to critique a site without knowing the design constraints, drink

If someone asks to postpone features to next phase, drink

If the hyperlinks are pink, order a Shirley Temple

If someone wants a prototype that uses "production ready code," drink

If someone says they love user centered design, pinch them and drink

If a developer says he knows more about user experience, do a shot

If someone asks why an iPad app can't have Flash, drink a pink martini

When someone wants it in PowerPoint so he can present it himself, do a shot

If your someone says it should be "more webby," do two shots

If you have drinks with Dan Saffer, do a shot

If someone tells you that the target audience is everyone, do a shot

If someone says something is too hard but doesn't provide solutions, do a shot

If someone built a feature without talking to anyone, drink

A recruiter asks you to refer someone with an antiquated skill set, drink

If someone says, "Accessibility isn't a requirement," keep drinking until blind

If someone says we'll have the developer do the UI, do a shot

If the checkout button is smaller than a postage stamp, drink

If the designer refuses to follow the wireframes, do a shot

When your mobile app passes 100,000 installs, buy a round

If someone asks you to design a logo with the wireframes, drink a mojito

If someone's phone made a funny auto correct on a work text, buy them a drink

If the visual design is completely different from the wireframes, drink

If the visual design makes your wireframes better, buy champagne

If form fields clear when a user submits and there's an error, have a rum punch

If you know the difference between content strategy and information architecture, drink

If someone wants all Flash on the landing page, drink

If someone asks how much user experience adds to the budget, drink

If someone thinks UX is just visual design, drink

If the project manager has no budget for UX in the proposal, drink

If someone asks you to include visual design in the wireframes, drink

If a designer says visual design is more important than user experience, drink

If "Save" is only at the top of a long page, drink

If someone says UX is the brand, have a handcrafted artisan cocktail

If someone says you can just make up the personas, drink two kamikazes

If someone says the users will figure it out, drink

if you're scheduled into a 20 person meeting to evaluate the design, drink floor cleaner

If you've had a project where UX made a difference, drink a mai tai

If someone asks you to write down all the questions in advance, drink

If someone insists your form needs a reset button, drink

If someone wants to put feature bullets on the home page, drink

If someone asks you to make the button bigger, drink a Mai Tai

If someone says they aren't very good with computers, buy them a drink

If you are given conflicting requirements, drink a sea breeze

If your designer creates new features without checking the strategy document, drink

If a visual designer creates their own wireframes, drink

If someone thinks Facebook "Like" is a social strategy, drink

If you have to explain Fitts's Law, pound a PBR

If your usability budget is used to pay for a launch party, bong a six pack

If your VP of Marketing wants to "gamify" your registration flow, drink

If someone refers to user experience as "doing usability," drink

If Will Evans replies to one of your tweets with an obscenity, drink

If someone says their Business Analyst already has the mockups ready for you, drink

If the job description requires a bachelors in computer science, drink

If a recruiter asks how many years of Fireworks experience you have, drink

If someone asks you to move cross country for a 3 month gig paying $40 per hour, drink

If you're up for the same design position as a friend, drink

If someone says it's Dutch according to Google Translate, have a Heineken

When someone asks for wireframes in PowerPoint, run to the bar

If someone says, "We don't need research, I know what users want," eat the tequila worm

If someone argues about UX design process, but has no UX portfolio, drink

If someone says Agile without UX creates more elegant products, do a jello shot

If someone tells you the red button does better in A/B testing, do a Jagerbomb

If someone asks to make it blink, do a shot

If someone ask for changes after a deadline passes, drink

If the error messages are in uppercase and red, drink

If someone has the same UX job title as you and there's no overlap between what you do, drink

If someone demands personas but won't budget for research, drink

If someone develops in Quirks Mode because doctypes make validation "difficult," drink

If users have to read FAQs to understand the service, drink

If someone says, "All our users are stupid," drink until you drop 20 IQ points

If someone says we need to integrate social media, drink

If a developer says they have "installed usability" before, have a shot

If someone adds a feature to artificially increase a metric, drink

If someone wants QR codes because they saw it somewhere, drink

If someone uses the word 'tradigital,' drink

If someone asks why the prototype isn't working during a usability test, drink

If someone does the site redesign himself and he's not a designer, drink

If someone wants the ratio of his logo to the nav bar to be The Golden Mean, drink

If you use Axure, but the client wants wireframes in PowerPoint, drink

If you don't get the contract because the developer told the client he's great with UX, drink

If someone thinks they are a better designer than the designer, drink

If someone tells you to remove the checkmarks and replace with X's, drink

If someone asks you to "make the UX pop," drink

If someone calls Pinterest "Pin-interest," drink in your own interest

If the project manager is the CEO, take a rainbow ski shot

If someone starts a sentence with, "All you have to do is," drink

If that 12 step wizard is not going to get fixed because "it works," gulp the Long Island Ice Tea

If the client says that the call to action buttons stand out too much, do a shot

If a designer ignores user feedback, do a shot

If the CEO asks if we can use the cloud, drink

If a developer says, "I need complete wireframes before I can code," drink

If the user story consists of a hyperlink, drink

When someone wants personas after the first discovery meeting, drink

If someone wants everything on the top navigation, drink

If someone asks why the wireframes have no color, do a double shot

If someone says the UX can't be built because they use Java, drink

If someone thinks the shopping cart shouldn't have dollar amounts, drink

If you can't switch the language of a site because it only works for IP detection, drink

If someone asks for a bigger logo, drink

If the front-end developer moves the button without feedback, drink

If someone makes you sign a NDA for an existing idea, drink

If a front-end developer calls himself an Interaction Designer, drink

If someone think the UX team should be under marketing, drink

If someone takes your UX ideas as their own to present, drink a lot

If someone wants to build every single feature on the internet into one site, drink

If someone asks you to copy another site, drink

If you hear someone pronounce UX as "uuuks," light your drink on fire

If someone asks you to clear your browser cache, drink

If the developers spend more time playing Product Managers than writing code, drink

If someone says UX isn't important because users already know about us, drink

If someone says to give your design to one of the designers to clean it up, drink

If Beer Friday starts when you're not finished, have a beer

If someone says our users are different and will read everything, take a double shot

If someone wants to add images and videos because users don't read, drink

If you have no records of anyone ever asking the questions in your FAQs, drink

If someone tells you that most of the website should be above the fold, drink

If you are asked to rearchitect a SharePoint site, drink the nearest bottle of wine

If someone is positioning new buttons based on statistical click analysis of the old site, drink

If someone suggests you do wireframes in Balsamiq so they can change them, drink

If someone asks, "it's going to look like that?" when you show wireframes, drink

If someone loves the Comic Sans in Balsamiq so much they want it for the site, drink

If someone gets wireframes and wants to talk features and functionality, champagne!

If someone uses curation during a meeting, drink

If someone uses "frictionless sharing" during a meeting, drink

If you are asked to put breadcrumbs on a site when they are unnecessary, drink

If someone describes your role as "they make things look good," drink

If another designer rips your site's legacy design on Twitter, drink

If someone says they can't implement UX because it's not Web 2.0, drink

If someone says, "Don't worry, we'll just put help text next to it," drink

If someone says, "We can add that to the preferences," drink

If someone says, "low hanging fruit," go to the pub for a long pint

Every time someone says "gamification," drink

If someone criticizes your wireframes because they aren't in color, do a shot

If someone asks about lorem ipsum, drink

If someone clicks on a mockup and asks why is it not working, drink

If someone says, "We cannot have four boxes there because its bad luck," drink

If your boss says, "We don't believe in Quality Assurance," do a shot

If your behavioral research is rejected because it lacks statistical significance, drink

If the developers refuse to push the code fixing all bugs before a demo, drink

If the opt-in must be pre-checked, drink and eat the glass

If someone asks to include an opt-out, drink 5 tequilas, eat the worm and the glass

If someone asks what value user research adds, drink

If someone asks whether your design decisions are confusing to the user, do a shot

If a designer uses the word cool to describe the value of the work, drink

If a recruiter asks if you are a UX Business Analyst, drink

If they ask you to check your UX documents into Rational ClearCase, take 2 shots

If someone says it's what the users told us they wanted, drink

If your boss says there's no time for research, empty a bottle

If someone says it needs more red, do a shot

If someone says it has to be "intuitive" without knowing who the user is, drink

If someone says the grey used in your wireframes is too dark, bust out the vodka

If someone references apple.com, take a two shots

If someone says users don't scroll, drink a Long Island

If someone says all the links should just say, "read more..." drink

If someone says, "Blind people aren't in our target audience," drink

If someone asks you to write business requirements, drink

If a metric is "collect email address for spamming," drink

If the QA team is asking for test requirments before the first sprint is done, drink

If someone rejects a feature because they can't code it, down the bottle

If your designer is the only tattooed, pierced weirdo in the office, buy him a drink

If someone thinks localization is supporting double byte character sets, drink

If someone says, "Web 2.0," drink

If someone says, "This how they did it in Gmail," take a dive into a tequila bottle

If the engineering manager told you that his engineers can implement the UX, drink

If your answer to everything is "If I tell you, my job wouldn't be important," buy everyone a drink

If someone wants a gamification badge photo sharing mobile app, drink

If your UX strategy for generating revenue is "that's the client's problem," stop drinking

If a designer uses "ubiquitous" and "synergy" to explain UX, drink

If the Product Manager blames you for not clearly defining the requirements, drink

If the UX designer is fired because "UX is a waste of money," drink

If someone claims to be a UX designer because they design Flash websites, drink

If the client wants unfriendly interface because it's the industry standard, drink

If someone says your sketchy-style wireframes are ugly, drink

If someone says the are a UX expert because they designed an infographic, drink

If someone asks "If Jakob Nielsen knows so much about usability, why is his site so ugly?" drink

If paper prototyping comes after QA, do a shot

If the someone insists on having a splash screen, drink

If someone asks you to "pretty it up," drink

If a Product Manager says they do usability, take a double shot

If someone wants to push it live at 5 p.m. on Friday, do 5 shots

If the developers didn't implement it because it wasn't in wireframes, drink

If the user can't find the submit button, drink

If someone says they designed video games and didn't need UX, drink

If someone wants you to pair program with him, drink

If someone tells you they're going forward with the redesign and skipping research, drink

Every time Louis Rosenfeld says, "It depends," drink

If you have backend developers applying CSS, drink

If the prototype will be ready in time for testing, drink

If someone says to give participants tasks and ask them to think aloud, drink

If someone asks you to put it through "userability," slam a shot

If someone says to use an icon, even if it's not intuitive, drink

If scope was cut to meet an arbitrary deadline, drink

If the management team believes the user deserves an experience, drink

If your designers rock out to Sapient's "Idea Engineer," pound a Kingfisher

If someone always sends screenshots in a Microsoft Word file, drink

If the offshore developers are making UX decisions, drink

If someone says your design isn't spunky enough, take three shots

If someone argues "build, launch, learn" is good product design, body shot a pickleback

If you have to NASCAR the interface with social sharing icons, drink

If your designer asks, "What's the fold," drink

If the SOW is signed after the first phase participants are recruited, knock back a bourbon

If someone demands modeling the site on Amazon, slug a shot

If the client pays for personas but expects market segments, knock back a stein

If someone says the developers can just color in your wireframes, drink

If someone refers to web design as "doing digital," drink

If someone describes usability as fonts and colors, pour a shot in a glass and drink the bottle

If feedback returns an error page, pour petrol over yourself and light a match

If someone can't explain the language used in the project goals, drink

If someone implemented a feature without reading the wireframes, drink

If someone says you don't need any form validation, drink

If someone says make it like Flipboard, drink

If users have to read the manual to upgrade, drink

If someone doesn't like the color of your design while they're wearing it, drink

If someone says you don't need a portfolio to get a UX designer job, drink

If someone says, "Our research indicates..." without sharing the research, drink

If someone asks for the KPI of a web page, drink his beer

If someone wants to talk about "learnings," drink

If someone says it's easy to use because it's on Windows, drink

If they use the prototype for a marketing tour, drink

If someone says, "value proposition," drink

If user stories are thought up without interviewing users, drink

If someone says the team doesn't need UX because he's discovered Balsamiq, drink

If someone requires you to do wireframes in Balsamiq, drink until pickled

If someone wants logos in the wireframes, drink two irish coffees

If you're doing the wireframes and the content strategy, buy yourself a drink

If the wireframes will be shipped to offshore developers, drink

If you have to explain why to use Fireworks instead of Photoshop, drink

If someone's first email is links to ideas for the project, drink

If you design features that would appeal to only you, go face down in the punch bowl

If someone asks you to make wireframes in color, drink lemonade and buy glitter

If someone says they cannot implement your UX in SharePoint, drink

If the form times out when you are thinking of a complex required password, drink

If someone asks you to change something because it's easier for developers, drink

If someone says users will read the manual, drink

If developers build features that users say they don't need, drink

If someone tells you to make it responsive, drink

If you see a "click here" on a website, drink

If the bootstrapping startup wants an offshore engineering team, drink

If your project gets canned just when you had an epiphany, drink

If someone wants you to "make it like a game," drink

If you're at the UX Speakeasy Conference in San Diego, drink

If the RFP leaves out user experience but includes visual design, drink

If the site says expired when you're still searching, drink

When someone asks for four-color proofs of a web page, join AA

If someone wants to put a 600 word menu on the page, drink

If someone references Apple, drink

If someone says something is easy but can't do it themselves, drink

If someone says it can be done with CSS, but can't actually produce CSS, drink Absinthe

When someone asks if we can just re-use another client's personas, drink

If you look at the brief for the project after it's been completed, drink

If someone says your site sucks but doesn't explain why, do a shot

If you go through five iterations and end up at the original design, drink

If you have to agree that an A/B test a bad idea just to stop arguing about it, drink

If someone thinks a wireframe is a finished design, drink

If someone submits your wireframes without providing any context, drink

If someone says, "The wireframes are too grey -- is there something we can do about that?" drink

If someone will only build the new UX using components from the current UX, drink

If someone's husband doesn't like rounded corners, drink

If someone says that there will be less to sell if tasks are too simplified, drink

If you're at Interaction12 in Dublin, Ireland, drink

If someone asks why you need to set goals, drink. If your team asks, drink twice.

If someone asks why we need wireframes when the mockups are already done, drink

When someone hires you and then wants to design it themselves, drink

If the designer insists on unlabelled icons, drink

If the UX improvements are "post launch," drink

If someone says they love your wireframes but they're too grey, drink

If someone wants a certain color for an already approved design, just drink

When a developer says they need perfect wireframes to write front end code, drink

If someone doesn't ask you to add social buttons to the website, start getting sober

If someone asks if you can do an Excel macro, drink

If someone re-designs your wireframes because they doesn't fit the brand standards, drink

If the team eschews UX because the project is just a proof of concept, drink

If the agency is supposed to deliver segments but they come back with personas, drink

If the UX Style Guide describes only branding standards, drink

If you see a job ad for a UX Developer with .NET experience, drown it in vodka

If someone asks what Section 508 is, drink

If someone thinks they know users better than you do after months of research, drink

If the brief says it must be "simple and clear, but have over 200 features," drink

If someone says they don't give a damn about Apple's Human Interface Guidelines, do a shot

If a user story starts with "As a person, I can ...," drink

When you can't design for fear of "setting expectations," drink

If you're the only person in the organization who understands strategic thinking, drink

If your research and evidence-based design lose against management's whims, drink

If someone asks you to make it mobile, drink

When your organization forbids sticking anything up on walls, drink

If someone doesn't give a damn about Android devices, drink

If someone has no questions regarding the new prototype you just sent, drink

If someone asks if the site will be tested with real users, have an open bar!

When a creative director says UX is a myth, drink

If they hire you as the UX expert but don't follow recommendations, drink

If someone says the project is so important that we aren't following process, drink

If the UX team is told to consider branding over usability, drink

If someone quotes Susan Greenfield, drink to oblivion

If the developers hire a UX person but won't change their workflow, drink

If someone says carousel, drink

If someone name drops Eric Reiss, drink

If someone asks the UX researcher to do the wireframes, drink

If someone interchanges UI and UX in a sentence, drink

If a text field to enter email address in a form starts with upper case, drink

If someone says they will do the wireframes because they have a Mac, drink

If someone asks if SEO is turned on, run to the nearest bar

If someone says a CAPTCHA is needed on all forms, drink

If the designer does opposite of your UX recommendation, drink from the bottle

If someone thinks good UX means we "just do what Google does," do 5 shots

If the engineers think good UX means their code complies with accessibility standards, drink

Every time your developer tells you how Ethan Marcotte would design it, do a shot

If your manager is playing the UX Drinking Game, drink

If someone talks about user mental models as the "things people do," bottoms up

If someone submits your napkin sketch to the developer as the requirements, drink

If the features and release date are set before research, drink

If someone says the wireframes don't have enough branding, pour whiskey in their eyes

If your Product Managers ask you to write requirements, pour a tall scotch

If the creative brief contains the words "delight the user," do a shot

If someone instructs you to make it easy to use, drink

If someone thinks fun is a strategic direction, drink

If the UX Drinking Game results in too much drinking, take four shots

If someone rejects the prototype because the code is buggy, spit your drink

If someone says, "I don't believe in user research," drink

If someone suggests to imitate Microsoft's Office UI, get drunk

If your only personae is John King from CNN, buy a round

If you have to do the wireframes after the design is complete, drink

If someone instructs you to put every button on the right, drink

When someone says don't worry about the UI, it's Web 2.0, eat the worm

If you can code but can't do information architecture, go into rehab

When someone asks you for case studies proving the validity of user research, drink

If someone says we should leverage the existing templates from another project, drink

If someone wants the next UX to put a dent in the universe, drink

If you see the default language of a webpage in India set to Hindi, drink

If someone wants social media share buttons only at the top of the page, drink

If your first impulse is to sketch it on a whiteboard, drink

If someone asks you for personas based on only quantitative research, drink

If you are a designer who doesn't know Photoshop, drink

If your developer knows Photoshop better than your designer, drink

If the client asks if the website will be in English instead of lorem ipsum, drink

If your stakeholder says every single user is in your target segment, drink

If someone says make the experience "fun" and "engaging," drink

If someone asks if they can censor user speech, drink

If your title has changed from UI to IA to UX to ID to IA, drink

If you've searched job listings using the keyword "wireframe," drink a lot

If your engineer says it can't be changed anymore because he started coding yesterday, drink

If you thought becoming a lawyer would be better than being a UX designer, shoot yourself

If any discussion about UX begins with "Let's get marketing," do two shots

If the site is gorgeous yet absolutely unusable by any audience, drink

If someone builds a photo app because Instagram was bought for $1 billion, drink

If you build a photo application that is bought for $1 billion, buy the next round

If someone says, "Make it just like TurboTax," order a double martini

If your designer prefers Fireworks to Photoshop, drink

When someone says, "Make the experience immersive," drink

If recruited users say they have 20 minutes for your interview, drink

If the product is ready to ship, and then they come to the UX team for a "review," empty the bar

When someone equates "user-centered design" with a GUI, head to happy hour

If someone wants to skip wireframes and go straight to mockups done in Photoshop, drink

If you refer to yourself as a pundit, rockstar, ninja or evangelist, drink

If someone suggests giving the close box the same functionality as the OK button, do a shot

If someone calls themselves a Pinterest expert, drink

If someone thinks wireframes drive the requirements, drink

If someone claims they can make the argument that a laptop is a mobile device, drink

If someone asks "can we see that in cornflower blue," start Fight Club, then drink

If someone says, "We'll write the copy later, it's just words," drink

If the developer says, "UX? Why? I can lay out a screen," do a shot

If someone says everything must be red because that's our brand color, drink up

If a recruiter asks if you have 5 years experience with Adobe CS6 do a shot

Your brother-in-law asks if you are still into computers and can you fix his AOL, drink

Developers balk at your streamlined design because it means fewer features to sell, drink

If someone says, "We don't want to overthink the UX Strategy," drink

If someone says your UX is as good as Facebook's, down a bottle

If someone complains to you about the Microsoft ribbon menu, take a proxy shot

If someone says you should use a new PPT template to emulate Apple's brand success, drink

When someone tells you you're only designing responsively "to be cool," drink

Every time your developer tells you something is impossible, do a shot

If there's no content, do shots until it gets there

When someone says everything has to be solved in a generic way, have a brandy

If someone asks for the Pantone number of the green button, do a shot of absinthe

If everything is red to follow the branding guidelines, drink

If the project that requires user research data has no research data, drink

If a project spans 8 months and there's 40 hours for UX, buy the bar

If you have to ask why there is no designer involved, drink a bottle of wine

If a visual designer says, "I wouldn't find it confusing," drink a vodka shot

If someone asks you to translate the wireframes, do a double shot

If the Principal UX Designer doesn't understand UX principles but speaks well, drink

If someone says make a good design even if it is not usable, drink

If a new feature is in scope for a project but not yours, drink

If there isn't time to test something redesigned at the last minute, drink

If someone says it's like Facebook for Twitter, drink

If someone says their idea will be worth as much as Facebook, drink

If someone thinks they are the next Mark Zuckerberg, drink

If your boss dresses like Mark Zuckerberg, drink

If your boss is Mark Zuckerberg, he should buy the bar

If someone says responsive and doesn't know what it is, drink

If your solution to a problem gets rejected because it isn't SharePoint, do a shot

If you have to explain clicking twice on a link isn't acceptable, drink

If annotated wireframes aren't enough for co-workers sitting 10 feet away, drink

If changes to uncoded features are rejected because the use case needs to be revised, drink

If someone says they will never read the strategy recommendation report, drink

If responsive and social are used in the same sentence, drink

If you're on vacation in two days and someone doubles scope, start vacation early and drink

When UPA changes to UXPA, do a shot of tequila and watch the debates ensue

If someone sends a screenshot embedded in a Word document, drink

If the job ad asks for someone who does "Y Frames," drink

If they're looking for a "UI/UX designer," drink

If your friends think you draw cartoons for a living, drink

If someone asks you to make the fake names in your wireframes more ethnically diverse, do two shots

If you are the only one who knows what UX means, finish the bottle

When the client says the briefing is to have the iPhone of their business, drink

If someone says design doesn't look sexy, tell them to keep drinking until it does

If the client thinks wireframes are made of wire, drink a bottle of absinthe

If you must scope down until your design is a skinned version of the old one, drain the bottle

If a job description says they are looking for a "ninja", "jedi", or "rockstar," drink

If someone finds it strange that you don't design on a Mac, drink

If you get the feeling you would do a better job on the front-end than the developers, drink

If branding means using a company PowerPoint template, drink

If someone says, that the User Interface isn't sexy enough, drink

If your someone says, "The design is done, now let's get to the real work," drink

If you have to sneak around to do the right thing, have a drink, but quietly

If the account team says they have been creating wireframes, liquor up!

If the Chief Creative Officer or Chief Strategy Officer thinks they should own UX, drink

If someone requests "bespoke" UX, drink a Pimm's Cup

If someone asks you to test 50 shades of grey, do a shot and go directly to HR

If someone says the current design "doesn't feel good," chug the bottle

Every time someone wants a feature because they "like it," drink

If someone asks you to be creative, drink

If someone asks why a feature is included after approving it the day before, drink

If someone wants the UI blue because Facebook is blue, drink

If someone has a spouse who just has a little feedback to give, drink a beer

When someone says the "design should ladder up," drink

If the error messages make the user feel she did something wrong, drink

If a job candidate's resume states he's an Interactive Designer, get him drunk

If a non-designer starts giving design direction, drink

If someone wants to add social icons next to every link on the page, drink then make them drink

If your developers can't work off Photoshop comps and ask for pixel-by-pixel specifications, drink

If someone starts their feedback with "Can't we just," drink

When you hear "surprise and delight users," drink

When "User Experience" is used by someone who doesn't understand it, drink

When people refer to Lorem Ipsum as "Greek," drink

If your co-worker muses over theoretical aspects of UX rather than working, drink

If someone dings your wireframes because the copy isn't correct, drink

If you return from vacation to find your UI totally redesigned, drink a Mai Tai

If someone wants to design a selection tool using nothing but sliders, do a jello shot

If someone wants the page to display all the database records, drink

If someone says user generated content can be used for a drinking game, drink

If someone says fidelity when they mean resolution and vice versa, drink a shot of Mad Dog

If someone doesn't know the difference between content strategy and copywriting, drink

If a developer requests an updated comp for a new paragraph of copy, drink

If you're pasting UX Drinking Game items into an email to explain what went wrong, drink

If someone asks you to "cuten" it up, drink

If someone says, "It looks great but let's get a committee together to go over it," drink

If someone says that UX equals Usability, get drunk

If your boss tell you to create UI examples in one hour, buy some Jack Daniels

If someone quotes Steve Jobs, take two shots

If the Account Manager is doing wireframes, drink

If the website design has more than three different font families, drink

If someone tells you to think out of the box, buy some Jack Daniels

If someone says the users will have to learn it, drink a lot

If you are surrounded by Account Managers that call themselves UX experts, get drunk

If you see an error message that says, "Error," get wasted

If someone asks you to make a clean design, do a Mojito

If your designer says, "Put the error messages somewhere," drink

If someone asks you for a HTML5 website with Flash, drink vodka

If your submit button is the Enter key, finish the bottle

If someone tells you to code the UX, drink 2 mojitos

If someone talks about clean design without knowing shit about design, drink

If all the Product Managers want the first location on the menu, drink the booze trolley

If a graphic designer has more say over the user experience than you do, drink

If someone says they can't improve the UX because it's a new feature, drink

If you design "Mobile first" without requirements, binge drink all night

If there's budget for 12 Developers but not a UX Designer, drink

If you have to A/B test the entire alphabet, do 26 shots

If all the reviews were written by the product owners, drink

If the product recommendations by users get in before there are users, ask for a drink

If someone says pagination is too hard to code, order a bloody mary

When things will be "fixed up" in the next release, drink

If the strategy is more important than the user, buy a round

If someone is discussing SEO possibilities on password protected pages, bang shots

When "Home Page" is a single user story, drink

If a developer suggests anything, drink

For every banner above the fold, do a shot

When you have to to quit drinking to the game because it harms the company reputation, drink

If you have to give advice about how to validate form fields with programming tips, drink

When your boss knows what's better for the user, drink

When there is more talk about visual design than user experience, slam shots

When you get a new job from posting to the UX Drinking Game, buy the next round

Drink a fifth of vodka for every textfield on the sign up page

For every required star on a form, do a shot

If the developers won't start until the wireframes are done and don't read them, drink

If a developer steps into your office because he needs a design solution now, drink

If you see a final design with Lorem Ipsum and Image placeholders as content, drink

If someone says there is a need to "establish the proper cadence for communication," drink

When you show wireframes and someone says, "So, you actually don't do anything," drink

Drink if usability issues are dismissed with "our users are smart," drink

If you go to UX Week for anything other than drinking, drink

If someone doesn't stop making drink jokes about user experience, drink

If someone wants to take UI at the design research phase of the project, drink

If someone wants to print the interactive prototype, add "Pint" button instead

If someone asks for a "best in class" solution, take out your best drinking glass

If a designer asks they need to know how write code, drink a beer with a developer

If your Product Manager designs full mockups but doesn't know what a grid is, buy a bottle

If you design amazing features, but no one markets them properly, drown in a bottle of scotch

If they want to introduce you to their "Webmaster," run to the nearest bar

If you end up cleaning up the mess left by the previous designer, drink

If someone asks for an all Flash website, drink

If someone thinks gathering feedback from everyone isn't design by committee, drink

If your website has more than three design iterations on display, take two shots

If your "UX Brief" is a scribbled post-it note, have a beer

If what was designed and tested was completely redesigned before launch, do a keg stand

If someone offers you equity to "make the application look pretty," drink

If you tell a test subject, "Ignore the words, they're not finalized yet," drink

If someone says, "We've covered UX by doing the use cases," drink

If someone doesn't like you using Sharpies because they smell, drink

If someone wants your wireframe to "pop more," drink a White Russian

If a feature design is dismissed because "the users are stupid," do a shot

If someone tells you to make the interface letter-sized paper, drink twice

If Back is to the right of the Continue, suck a lemon, shoot tequila and lick salt

If someone asks you to put the real banners in the wireframe, get wasted

If someone stares at you through the two way mirror during testing, drink

If someone edits HTML in Word, drink

If a requirement is "an easy, smooth and efficient experience," drink and go to sleep

If someone says, "In terms of usability," drink two mojitos

If the designer says, "Let's just use Twitter Bootstrap," drink

If a designer has to work their magic within an unscrollable iframe, drink

If someone says Mobile First for everything, drink

If someone talks about having "persona profiles," drink a double whisky

If a crude instant message appears during the user testing session, down an Old Fashioned

If the UX Designer has no idea what the web strategy is, go out for karaoke

If you go to SXSW and drink with your boss, buy a round

If usability findings are pared down to a bulleted list with no context, drink a Moscow Mule

If the design style guide hasn't been touched in 3 years, dirty martinis for all

When the last participant on Friday is 30 minutes late, do a shot in the observation room

If someone asks you to edit the findings deck to seem more favorable, pour a stiff one

If someone is hesitant to user test and wants more quick wins, drink

If you're expected to be the "voice of the user," finish the bottle

If you're told you're not allowed to talk to your users, drink

If someone says he wants the UI to be intuitive like an iPhone, chug a beer

If your presentations have to explain UX, drink

If the email newsletter sucks, break a bottle

If someone says labels should always be on top because Luke Wroblewski said so, drink

If someone knows the buzzwords but has only one year of experience, drink

If someone says a feature exists because the user saya it should be designed that way, drink

Keep drinking until the UIE Brain Sparks voiceover guy stops trying to use his deep voice

If someone underestimates level of effort because he thinks it's just a reskin, drink

If someone looks at your design and tells you what's going in the first phase, drink

If you're tasked with QA'ing the UI by tomorrow but the build keeps changing, drink

If someone says Agile is more collaborative but then doesn't ask questions during sprints, drink

If you get an error that you've used too many characters in the UX Drinking Game, drink

If the designer says his wireframes are to exact dimensions, drink

If the checkbox is designed to be the size of a grapefruit, drink

If someone congratulates the team after launch but forgets the designer, drink

If someone selects "Reply All" to a job posting on a mailing list, drink

When someone approves the design without client approval, drink

If someone says, "Above the fold," drink an old fashioned

If the designer busts out a 10-circle UX Venn Diagram, drink

When someone agrees to prioritize features by "user delight," toast them

If a limited character text field doesn't display a character count, drink

If the recruiter says she specializes in finding developers and identifies you as a candidate, drink

If you have to submit bugs because the developer didn't read the wireframes, drink

If someone has a in-house designer and hires a freelancer to make a heuristic evaluation, drink

If someone clearly doesn't understand the revision clause in your contract, drink

If someone complains that your wireframe colors do not reflect the brand, drink

If Marketing says a lighter blue would be a better user experience, drink

If the user story says, "Make it responsive," empty the bottle

If someone says you need iOS experience for the job, empty the bottle

If someone asks you to come up with the taxonomy, but then hands you categories, drink

If someone says they want best-practice wireframes, drink

When they want social media but reject ratings because it gives users too much power, drink

If the UX Designer references a post from uxmovement.com, drink heavily

If someone asks, "Why do I have to clear my cache again?" drink

If you see a job with "research" and "detailed design" in the same title, bottoms up

If someone says it needs more texture so they get their money's worth, drink

If someone says your design isn't "webby" enough, swig a little

When someone says they want to make it "like Facebook" but won't let anyone use it, drink

If no one edits the Russian programmer's error messages before going live, drink 3 shots

If Marketing wants to "get into UX design," drink two gimlets

If your UI developer says something "can't be done" just to avoid work, drink a fifth

If your company insists on two hour turnaround but won't invest in a duplex printer, drink

If a consultant evaluates your design without asking about the users, hit them with the bottle

If everyone talks usability but ignores the UX staff, drink

If someone didn't hand off the guidelines because they didn't want to burden the developers, drink

If someone tells you the layout will be designed in Illustrator, drink like hell

If they think UX is throwing content inside a blank page and drawing squares, drink

If someone says it's like Twitter for Twitter, drink from a Klein bottle

When clients visit for a design meeting and you're not included, drink

If your client thinks your mockup is the finished product, drink

If someone suggests using the mouse hover state, drink

When someone wants you to design for who they think their users are, drink

If the instructions require instructions, someone is already drunk

If you bought melamine just so you could make cheap whiteboards, drink

If you carry a whiteboard and dry erase marker with you everywhere you go, drink

If your developers want to recreate advanced search within a modal window, drink

If the only person having any doubts about what the user needs is the designer, drink

If someone uses the word "steroids" while describing the UI, take one (with a beer)

If you dislike how "Next" changes position for each quote on this site, drink

If your boss hires a UX instructor to rant about colors, fonts, and Comic Sans, drink

If the UX manager has zero design knowledge, drink until you cry

When visual designers start working in Photoshop before the wireframes, drink straight scotch

If a visual designer says they don't need wireframes, drink scotch neat

If the developers design the site using tables, go on a binge

If someone says the focus group is too private for UX to attend, do a shot elsewhere

If your company makes products it could use but won't, do a shot

If great ideas only come from executives, head for the bar

If someone runs off the entire previous UX team, do a shot of bathtub gin

If Marketing owns UX, drink up

If lawyers design the task flows and write the copy, buy your users a shot

If highly paid outside vendors create hollow UX patterns that you must follow, drink up

If the most qualified UX designer has the least authority of all, drink heavily

If someone says, "We don't have a web person, can you help us update our site?" drink

If your benchmark reference is Google, drink

If the developer asks you to beautify the page, drink a whole bottle

If you accidentally click "Funny" when you think it isn't, drink

If the cure for corporate silos is another silo, smile and drink

If generating reports for management takes more time than doing the work, do a shot

If the design vendor gives you only PDF documentation and no actual assets, drink

If the product is nothing like the sales demo, drinks all around

If the product looks nothing like product's screen shots, drink

If a reorganization destroys a functioning team, take two shots

If free online tools work better than enterprise tools, drink

If you're designing a site with Lorem Ipsum, drink

If the logo is so low contrast that you didn't notice it until just now, drink

If someone suggests common design patterns shouldn't be used because that's not "innovative," drink

If someone says, "Let's see how Amazon does it," drink

When no one can't agree on the project scope, down the bottle

If the goal is to make it look exactly like something in print, drink

If someone wants to change a navigation element's color so it stands out more, drink

If you retroactively fit the wireframes to the design comps, order a Zombie

If someone calls the UX "world class," drink

Every time you read, "As a user I want to..." in scrum team's user stories, drink

If someone thinks the wireframes are the final design and they like it, do shots

If the UX Designer forgets most users use Windows, beer bong him

If you've received an email with the words "make this look pretty," drink

If someone sneers, "All I hear about from you is users, users, users", have a rum

If someone wants to know how many wireframes before the requirements are done, drink

If someone asks you to "minimize the total number of clicks," drink

If the developers ask, "When do the business analysts do usability testing?" drink

When someone confuses affordance with visual cues, drink

If someone calls you a Unicorn, swap their DQ Blizzard with a boozy Oreo milkshake

When someone says the goal is to make it cool, do a double sambuca

If the users are "nerds" and therefore "know how to use everything," get a scotch

If there's a popup window that calls another popup window, drink

If someone discusses the drop shadow distance, softness and angle, drink

When all drop shadows have drop shadows, double down

For every iframe within an iframe, do a shot

When the demo is made up of images and large text, bring on the pints

If system response time is so slow the session expires, slam a shot

When breadcrumbs add no value to the navigation, drink

If a developer suggests a design framework, ask for a drink with that

If links look like buttons, and buttons look like links, drink

If someone mixes combo boxes with inline checkboxes, down the bottom

When you have to "proof of concept" a framework, drink

If the CEO says, "Make it look like Twitter because it needs to be simple," fetch the Slivovica

If your next deadline is yesterday, drink

If you're asked the aspect ratio of a template when it's almost done, drink

If the entire page has to auto refresh to show new banners, drink

When "Home" is placed within the navigation, ask chase a shot with a beer

If someone says they want to surprise the users by not involving them, drink

If someone uses Bacon, Hipster, or some other Ipsum alternative, drink

If the visual designer is ignored when developer has a visual design question, drink

If the personas provide no behavioural insights, drink a popular beverage

If someone tells you to add a border so it doesnt "float," drink

If most of the images on your web site are of Apple products and you're not Apple, drink up

If your application has the words "OnLine" in the title, drink wine from a wine glass

If the client refuses defining the business goals, drink

If the Heuristic Evaluation is done by committee, drink

If Angel Anderson dances on a table at the IXDA, drink

If buttons and labels are in the brand color of bright red, drink up

If someone asks why your printed design isn't responsive, drink

If everyone gets UX religion but you're still their mockup monkey, drink

If everyone says lets do UX like Apple but has no idea what that means, drink

If someone asks what is the screen size to design for, drink

If your new UI standards are more fashionable than usable, drink up

If someone says it's a game changer, drink

If someone says your wireframes aren't visually appealing, drink

If someone from your team says you are the artist of the project, drink

If someone asks why your wireframes are in black and white, drink

If the CEO says that UX is vital but doesn't invest in user research, drink

If someone says he doesn't like your design but doesn't know how to explain why, drink

If someone asks you to make an icon look better, drink

If the Agile instructor says you should find another to cover UX topics, drink

If someone tells you "buttons should be icons" because "our users are smart", drink

If someone says it has to work in IE 6, finish the bottle so you can hit them with it

If someone says research is not a designer's job, get wasted

When there "isn't enough time" to fix critical usability issues, chug

If someone decides to rewrite requirements after months of UX research, drink

If someone says,"Why don't we just buy a theme to use as our design," drain every bottle in the bar

If your UX Designer carries around a white board in their backpack, drink

If someone refers to you as a "UXpert," drink

If the UX intern says he wireframes in Photoshop, drink

If someone asks for design feedback and all their content is lorem ipsum, drink

If someone wants UX and visual design done in parallel, drink

If you're asked for quick wireframes to convince the client, drink

If the only justification for a feature is "Twitter did it," drink

If someone judges usability by how nice it looks, drink

If someone writes "UI/UX" because they don't know the difference, drink

If someone asks if the wireframe labels are final copy, drink

If you're a UX person working in an interactive marketing agency, drink -- a lot

If someone is proud of being in "Silicon Valley," drown him or her in a vat of Merlot

If someone tells you to create preliminary wireframes in Photoshop, drink

If your agile project plan doesn't engage users until acceptance testing, drink

If someone says, "I can sketch the wireframes for you," drink

When the UX Drinking Game becomes a company standard, buy a round

If the consultant says the same thing and they listen to him, drink

If the developer says no to important changes because they aren't necessary, drink

If company is based on an "idea" and not observing users, drink until dead

When you are sent an email confirming you unsubscribed to an email list, take two shots

If someone asks you to deliver "eye candy," drink until you are blind

If someone says user error, hit the bottle

If someone says, "Can't we design it like the Harlem Shake," drink

If you can't use green because it's offensive to Muslims, drink Coke

When you put the UX Drinking Game on your resume, cheers!

If someone says, "It's too white," drink a White Russian

When the UX Designer isn't invited to the design meeting, drink

Every time you get to do the "I told you so dance," drink a Pina Colada

If someone says disruptive, drink

If you feel obligated to go to SXSW, drink

If your features get cut because the system is unstable, drink

If the UX Designer is the only competent front-end developer, drink

If a developer says, "It works on my computer," drink

When someone hires you to design an awesome website using a bad logo, drink

If someone tells you to lower your expectations, drink

If you land a job on the first wireframe in your portfolio, buy a round

If someone wants results but has no budget to fix usability findings, have a rum

If a Product Manager creates a wireframe in PowerPoint and asks for beautification, drink a double

If usability enhancements were killed by the Product Manager, buy a round

If someone is too obsessed with Apple products, drink

If more time is spent on the April Fools' Day prank than the product, drink

If your biggest concern is to keep the development team busy, drink

If the dialog box reads "Click OK to Cancel and Cancel to Continue," drink

If you have to write all the content, crack open the tequila

If someone asks, "Can we use a pretty cursive font for the body text?" down vodka shots

If the client who owns a Porsche complains about your rate, drink

If the UX Drinking Game is referred to in a college class, drink

If someone says it just has to be "good enough," chug the keg

If your code looks elegant and well structured, drink

If client asks for responsive design and you are given two days for wireframes, drink all the rum

If the user experience is based on "the user wants it," drink inside the Homer's car

If you submit wireframes to creative, and the visuals looking nothing the wireframes, drink

If a developer asks where the UX is on the wireframes, drink

If someone says we can make it accessible later, drink

If there's a discussion about relational databases, take notes and do two shots

If someone says, "I'm a former designer, so i get it," drink a glass of bleach

If a recruiter doesn't bother to look at your LinkedIn profile, drink

If you redesign boarding passes for fun, drink

If someone tells you to download a different browser, drink

If your someone wipes out all of your suggestions because "it's what the client wants," drink

If a product demonstration turns into a discovery session, drink your weight in mercury

If a site you worked on won a Webby award after you left, drink

If development is stopped because the site keeps crashing, drink

If your site is featured on webpagesthatsuck.com, drink

If someone asks for KPIs but can't explain what they are, drink

If someone says you should add a horizontal scrollbar, drink

If someone insists all functionality of web site should be in mobile site, drink a small shot

If someone says they are playing devil's advocate, set them on fire, then drink

When a new stakeholder takes over halfway into the project, get the good whiskey

If someone asks to add more kittens to the UI, drink

If there were 100 sign ups for the beta over a year, serve the final round

If someone changes the design because it's easier then fixing a small bug, drown them in whiskey

If someone asks you about flat versus skeuomorphic design, drink

If the Scrummaster starts giving design tips, drink

If you lost the count of dynamic panels created in Axure and you don't know how to fix it, drink

When you need to install an update to uninstall the program, drink

When you want something and someone says, "Can't we just ask the user?" drink

If someone says every page should target a new browser window, drink

If you are trying to get into user experience and are completely lost, drink

When the team learns costly UX lessons the hard way, drink

If you have to release a video explaining the top navigation, drink

If the website wins an award but the system keeps going down, drink

If your login session times out after a minute, drink

If someone asks why the Lorem Ipsum text is in Spanish, drink

If someone says "screen real estate," do a shot

If you just realized you're one of the top contributors to UX Drinking Game, drink

If the social media team has more say about UX than you do, drink

If someone says good reviews are more important than engagement, drink

When the CTO asks the visual designer do wireframes and not you, drink

If you meet Ian Fenn at an event, buy him a drink

If you're at the SoCal UX Camp, drink

If someone takes the concepts into development without a design, go to the pub and don't come back

If the project plan has a whiskey reference, pour a Macallan

If someone fakes the client's response email, drink

If you spend more time managing your boss than designing, drink

If someone tells you iOS 7 looks like Android, punch them, then drink

If someone doesn't know the difference between a website and an app, drink

If someone wants to build something without knowing the users, drink

If someone tells you all things digital will have a URL, ask what digital means and drink

If you don't have an elevator pitch, drink

If someone says, "Transparency would kill us," drink a zima

If you're asked to do wireframes in two days, drink

If someone brags about the number of wireframes they did, drink

If the rewrite will never be done, drink

When someone doesn't know the difference between radio buttons and check boxes, drink

If your new boss says, "I've managed software teams," chug the bottle

If marketing is authoring your company's design guidelines, drink

If a QA says visual design doesn't match the wireframes, drink

If the VP of Product doesn't understand what you do, drink

If usability testing is only done after launch, drink

If what you were working on for six months was killed before shipping, drink

If someone wants to discuss page content on your sitemap, drink

Every time someone asks for lots of moving pictures, drink

If the animations are stripped down to a static page by the developers, drink

If you need an act of Congress to buy a $100 software license, drink

If someone tells you no one needs data, leave and go to the nearest bar

If someone uses UI and UX interchangeably, drink

When someone complains about the UX but doesn't let you fix it, drink

If someone thinks multiple scroll panes are less effort than full page scrolling, drink

If a system error message reads "Bad Dog!", do a keg stand

If someone uses user experience to justify everything, drink

If someone asks where the navigation is for a one page website, drink

If you are the UX Lead yet spend all your time coding, solemnly sip your whiskey

If the Scrummaster created the wireframes, drink

If someone says, "I need your wireframe to write the user story," drink

If the framework doesn't support responsive design, drink

If someone says, "We'll get back to the UX later," drink

If the user story reads, "As a user, I need you to design a page," drink

When nobody listens to you until the CTO's spouse says it, drink

If the CEO copies the visual designer and marketing on every UX email, cry, then drink

Every time you hear "Affordance," drink

If the website is designed, and someone wants to apply some UX, get hammered

If multiple inline scroll panes are considered user friendly, drink a White Russian

When you enjoy using your own products, buy a round

When no one shows up for the demo, take the drinks home

If your client's email is an AOL email address, drink

When new features are added during the sprint, drink

If the user responds to a true or false question with "Yes," do a shot

If someone expects a discount because they're a friend, drink

When your boss presents your idea as their own two months later, drink for two months

If someone says no testing because they'll tell the user what works, drink

If someone keeps saying usability when they mean functionality, make them drink

When someone misuses the word widget, drink

If you give your best feedback after a few drinks, bring the bottle to work

If the CTO and visual designer do a redesign without saying anything to you, drink

When someone think mobile applications and mobile websites are the same, drink

When the developers need five iterations to get the new UI right, ask for a chaser

When someone says UX and he actually means visual design, drink

If the designer spends most of their time updating Photoshop comps with minor changes, drink

If the developer can't hold their liquor, drink

If your company has more Photoshop comps than wireframes, mockup a drink

If Marketing says they don't like it but can't answer why, drink

If the manager that hired you is fired before you start a new job, buy a bottle

If someone shows a heat map and says, "All that red means they liked it," drink

If the stakeholder meeting has no one that uses the application, drink

If someone says, "The user is always right," drink

When a visual designer runs a UX panel and only talks about flat vs. skeuomorphic design, drink

If someone says, "Can you create an experience like the iPhone," do a keg stand

If the client complains about your rate from their Australian vacation, drink

If a client wants to remove responsive design because he doesn't want to pay for it, drink

When the UI looks like Windows Metro, fetch a metropolitan

When a sprint is dedicated to fixing Internet Explorer issues, slam a shot

If your developer thinks he is the target user, run for the bar

When someone says the user must see the 400 pixel wide logo at every page, drink

If someone wants it to be "sticky" rather than efficient, drink

When someone asks to make a SharePoint site responsive, drink

If a developer gives UX advice but doesn't know front end development, drink

When the engineers get you involved after the functionality is built, drink

If someone says we'll apply UX in the next version, do a shot of whiskey

If you are at a UX event and the presenter doesn't know how to advance to the next slide, drink

If someone thinks gamification means adding points and badges, drink

If someone says, "the smaller the device, the fewer the use cases," drink

When someone sends you a site map created in Word, do tequila shots

If someone says, "Please make it better without changing anything, use design," drink

If the UX Lead is a better developer than the engineering team, drink

Every time someone says mental model, drink

When someone says, "I really like it, but...", drink

If error messages come with a random LOLcat, down the bottle

If a UX expert says, "I know I'm right because I have 10 years of experience," drink

If a test subject says, "I spent a few hours practicing yesterday," drink

If quality assurance questions whether your design makes sense, listen, then drink

If someone haggles with you like they're buying a used car, drink

If the Director of UX has a marketing background, drown yourself in whiskey

If the someone wants to skip IA and move straight into wireframes, drink

If you are on a conference panel that includes five white males, drink

If someone complains that iOS7 is too flat, drink

If someone says it's just a cosmetic issue, drink

If the client asks for a sample home page before signing the contract, buy the office a round

When your boss tells you they just signed up for a Dribbble Pro account, drink

If the default font size is 18 point, drink

When someone asks if you know Objective-C, drink

If someone says there's too much white space, drink

If you are a UX team of one, finish the bottle

If you submitted to UX Drinking Game but didn't know you'd be identified, finish your resume

If the mobile website includes a Full Site button, drink -- hard

If the proposed mobile design is a separate site, drown yourself in a butt of malmsey

When the product manager does not manage the product, drink

If you own the product owner, slam a shot

When someone says, "I know what users will think, so remove the Feedback link," drink

When someone says wireframes add no value, have a Mai Tai

If someone says it's easy because they can do it in Flash, set them on fire

When someone asks if wireframes are the design, drink

If the developer is "graphic designing" your wireframes in MS Paint, drink

If someone wants the call to action to be placed further down the page, drink

If someone says, "We don't need UX, we downloaded a free Bootstrap theme," drink

If someone says, "Can you UX the page because I don't like the blue," drink

When someone says, "I think we need to test this on real users," buy the bar

When someone uses MS Paint to create wireframes of your wireframes, double shot

When someone that hired you finally lets you design, buy them a round

If a design question is answered with "Lets see how others do it," go visit another bar

If you invite four to the design review and nineteen show up, drink before the meeting

When someone asks to change the font color in the wireframe, drink

If one of your blog posts is featured in a Masters class, drink

If the UX Designer is more about talking than listening, drink

If you spend more time explaining why UX is important than doing UX, drink

If the paper prototype reflects the finalized design, buy a round

When the product ships, buy a round

If someone suggests sprinkling flat design on a site, drink

If your designer uses Hipster Ipsum, slam a PBR

If someone ignores your A/B test findings, empty the bottle

If the designer want to makes changes just because the OS changes, drink

If your boss lets the project manager make design decisions, drink

If competition-fueled changes overshadow UX, drink

If the progress indicator is positioned at the bottom of the screen, drink

When the visual designer converts all your charts to 3D, drink

If someone hires a designer off of Dribbble, sip

When you look at a sitemap and it is a user flow, drink

If someone thinks you decide the size and position of buttons, drink

If someone says it needs an infographic, drink

If a developer says he won't implement something because it's inconsistent, drink

If someone says it needs Parallax, drink

If the CTO says we will get to that when we update the UI technology, get wasted

If someone tells you to work your magic, drink

If the content will be created after the design is done, get wasted

If the developer doesn't want to implement something because it's not in the guidelines, drink

If the designer mentions Apple during the interview, drink

If someone lists CorelDRAW in their resume, decline and do a shot

If a resume says that work samples are available upon request, decline and do a shot

If someone mentions pagination, drink

If someone starts talking about the 80/20 rule, drink

If the developers write the UI text, take two shots and update your resume

If you ask about the deadline and someone mentions yesterday, drink

If you teach your development team about progressive disclosure, buy everyone a drink

If your navigation is still five levels deep, get drunk

The someone wants something more flashy, drink

If someone compares the product with a pocket knife, drink

If your developer has design training, buy a round for the house

If someone think the wireframes are the final design, drink

If your project has 25 personas, drink

If anyone mentions soccer mom, take two shots

If someone says the user should be able to do something with the fewest clicks possible, drink

If someone says links should be underlined, drink

If someone says everything should be captured in the guidelines, drink

If a client gives you a blank stare when you ask for their top three scenarios, drink

If someone gives you a blank stare when you ask for their personas, drink

If you can't figure out what a client does from their website, drink

If your customers get tattoos of your mascot, buy two rounds

If your journey maps rely on survivorship bias, start a twelve step program

When they don't include you in user testing, drink

When the CTO starts redesigning things with no feedback, drink

If you have to fix someone's code, drink, then hit him with the bottle

If the Product Manager wants to wireframe without finishing requirements, drink

If the redesign was re-scoped from the whole site to a single page, drink a thimble of beer

If someone thinks users search or browse, join a bar crawl

If someone says popup browser windows are a best practice, finish and break the bottle

If requirements change three times in a two week sprint, drink

If a currency value is stored as free text input, drink a Belgian beer

If someone wants to support HTML5 in IE6, drink under the table

When two developers and the visual designer make UX decisions for you, drink

If elements look too small on televisions, drink

If the scrollpane headers are inside the scrollpanes, drink

When every user story ends with opening a popup, drink

When someone says there is no need for search because users can browse, drink

If someone wants to add more cats to the design, drink

If anyone doubts your expertise based on their uninformed view of how things should work, drink

If someone says rounded corners are more important than functionality, drink

If the user can search in every section but not the entire site, drink

After iterating on an idea and the engineer changes it again, shoot them

If you tell people that you do web design because you're tired of explaining UX, drink

When the last project check-in dates back to 2008, drink

Every time someone says, "microinteraction," drink

If you have to convince someone primary navigation is important, buy a keg

When there's a design critique without suggestions, drink

If someone says the button should be 3D, drink a vodka shot with your eye

If the proposed solution is to use bigger font size, chug

When categories are stackable filters, drink at random

If someone complains about the placeholder images, drink

When someone says the website should work on a Kindle, drink

If someone asks if training will accompany the new design, drink

If Business Development asks you to do mockups, make it a double

If a team hopes UX will solve their internal issues, run away and drink

If someone gets actors, roles and personas mixed up, drink

If you need to make 25 prototypes for a single page, drink

If someone doesn't know what a call to action is, drink

If the product owner walks through requirements then says let's start building it, drink

When the product owner can't describe what they want in less than 50 words, drink

When someone uses accessibility to argue against a change in an inaccessible product, drink

When someone thinks epics and user stories are the same, drink

If someone says, "Content Strategy isn't a thing," drink

When the product price isn't listed on the product website, drink

When Bing looks nicer than your latest project, drink until the pain goes away

If someone thinks their startup idea is original, drink

If you have to implement parallax scrolling, drink while scrolling

When users can pay with a tweet, ask for beer payments instead

If someone says member experience, drink

If there is no documented strategy on design, drink

When someone says innovation is a requirement, drink

When your CSS fails to load and it makes your site easier to navigate, drink

If someone proofreads your bogus placeholder data, drink

If your demo comes back with all text bolded and italicized, drink

If someone wants to put a close button on a website, finish your drink

If you tell customers you only support IE, drink a 40 for each version you are behind

Whenever someone opens Amazon's checkout experience for comparison, drink

When you receive design feedback from someone with clipart in their email signature, drink

If you only have one designer, buy them a drink

If someone references images in a design document but doesn't read the text, drink

When you yell at a pizza or bank website, have a beer

If somebody says, "We're changing scope," slam a shot

If someone says the UI needs to conform to the golden ratio, drink

When the someone sets the minimum password length to 64 characters, do an eyeball shot

If the team has been working for months and then brings you in to define their product, drink

If you have to tell someone to clear their cache, drink

If you're told you have creative freedom, drink

If the Product Manager doesn't want their requirements challenged, drink

If the someone wants to emulate Zynga with their new business direction, drink

If someone says IA should be separate of UX, drink

If someone calls themselves a visionary designer, punch them then drink

If the user you're surveying uses AOL as their main browser, drink

When the microsite takes priority over the product, drink

When there are scrollpanes within scrollpanes, drink

If you receive the requirements in a Excel file, drink

If there are three different product owners for the same product, drink

If you're asked to help sales design the PowerPoint, do 10 shots

If someone thinks both visual comps and wireframes are called mockups, drink

If it is a requirement for the comps to look good on projectors, drink

If your product manager creates wireframes to communicate requirements, drink the whole bar

If you're given a prototype by the client that matches your wireframes and never saw it, drink

When someone says there's no need for UX, we can just copy our competitors, drink

If Product Marketing can call out the CTO on his bullshit, drink

If someone talks about Lean UX but has never done it, drink

If your top navigation offers product names with no explanation, drink

If someone say acronyms are too casual for B2B, drink

If you're up until 3 a.m. working on wireframes and the next day your work is descoped, drink

When someone tells you they can design everything in Microsoft Word, drink

If a salesperson promises release dates without knowing scope, slam a shot

When the user stories have no acceptance criteria, drink

When your contact form button reads Submit, drink

When new features conflict with existing features, drink

When the design doesn't solve the original problem and adds a new problem, drink

If someone wants to go back to the first design after the 20th revision, drink

If someone says a font looks fuzzy and asks for it to be fixed, drink

If someone asks for high fidelity mockups, have three shots of absinthe

Every time someone says Bootstrap, drink

When a recruiter tells you they found your name in a database, drink

If someone says you have to design in CorelDraw, drink the kool-aid

If you spot Usability Counts without a drink, buy him a drink

If design has a seat at the leadership table for only the right person, drink

If the requirement isn't written anywhere but it's in the code, drink

If someone wants to add a CAPTCHA, bang your head against the wall and then drink

If someone says that the application is pretty, drink the full glass

If your team realizes that you are the customer advocate, buy them a round

If Information Architects complain they don't have their own drinking game, drink

If product issues are "solved" by hiring a visual designer, drink

When someone says hamburger, drink

If the UX process is referred to as wireframes in a Gantt Chart, drink

If you spend weeks creating a style guide and no one reads it, drink

If a requirement is "I want better things on the page," drink

If the inexperienced project manager adds to client confusion, slap them hard and drink

If scrolling should be horizontal because the Azure portal has it, drink

Every time you hear "Persona" misused, drink

If someone asks, "Why are we wasting time iterating on design," drink

If someone asks why you need a larger monitor, drink

If someones says we should fill up that empty space, drink until full

When you realize a newly-coined methodology is something you've been doing for years, drink

When someone tells you that everyone understands the hamburger icon, drink

When someone tells you a critical feature will be pushed to Phase 2, drink

When a developer says it's hard to code modal or lightbox windows, drink

If there's a requirement that only reads "make it easy to use," drink

When your new job includes a locked down PC with IE 6 and Visio, drink to death

When someone used the term Charette and later you realize they mean sketching, drink

When somebody asks you what you do and you can't be bothered to explain, drink

When you get an email pointing out the spelling errors in your annotations, drink

When somebody tells you that wireframes are dead, drink their blood

If someone asks to make the responsive UX bad so users download the mobile app, drink a 40

If someone asks for an update to the wireframes so they match the visual design, drink twice

When flat design are described as too literal a translation of the wireframes, drink

When Axure links break when copying a prototype, down two shots and a beer

If your company practices CEO-centered Design, drink

If someone says, "I don't do it that way," drink

If engineering hired someone you turned down in interviews to be your counterpart, drink heavily

If someone complains about Facebook's UX even if they aren't a paying user, drink

If sales keeps giving you art direction tips, drink till you pass out

If the project is managed in a Word document, drink

If someone rejects your original recommendation, only to come back to it on their own, drink

When someone asks you to use more fonts and colors, drink

If someone thinks the increase in smart phone sales is a fad, head to the pub

If you hear "Context" during a design meeting, drink

If a stakeholder is obsessed with pie charts, drink

If a Product Manager gives you too much "How" and not enough "What," drink

When the first project goal is the deadline date, drink

If the product vision document is empty, drink

If the UX team has lost four designers in the last month, drink

When someone says the wireframes look better than the visual design, drink

When you sent annotated wireframes to a someone and they ignored your notes, drink

When wireframes are sent to a client and they send back identical hand-drawn versions, drink

If someone says UX and UI are the same, bottoms up

If someone asks for a customization option to fix improperly designed behavior, drink

If someone says user research will be a disaster, drink

If someone lists "Intuitive Interface" as a use case, drink

When someone explains CX is important because you do UX, drink

When you have to write personas without conducting research, drink

If you call yourself a design thinker, drink

If someone refers to you as a Usability Designer, laugh and do a shot

If someone uses "mobile first" to mean only the MVP, drink

If someone says SharePoint works just fine on Mac, poor tequila in her eyes

When someone brings you a great idea that you proposed weeks ago and they rejected it, drink

If the header is 400 pixels tall, and someone still wants content above the fold, do a sake bomb

If someone says they are too far ahead in the product roadmap to stop and do UX, scotch up

If you are asked to make a random function more random, drink

If you are asked to make a pre-loader that loads nothing, drink

If Alan Cooper shows up to your event to drink, drink

If someone answers a request for usage analytics with "just use best practices," drink

If someone decides to starts designing without understanding the users, just continue drinking

When someone looks for your UX work on GitHub, drink

If the designer is writing all of the Rails code, drink

If someone suggests skipping UX because "we can whiteboard it," do a keg stand

If you have to change terminology on your information architecture for it to be accepted, drink

If your user experience process doesn't involve users, drink from the bottle

If the head of design's experience is reading the Steve Jobs biography, do a pub crawl

If someone wants to bring you in for a week to wireframe a home page, drink

If your content strategy is adding tooltips, drink

If someone asks you to fix the UX three weeks before launch, drink a case of beer

If "everything is on the table" means moving the buttons or change the colors, drink

If sales includes UX research but dumps it when client complains about the cost, drink

If the developer decided not to build a client approved feature, drink

When someone says UX sounds "made-up," drink yourself into a coma

If someone thinks that demoing a site is a usability study, drink

If someone says we can improve site performance later, drink

If your consulting rates greatly vary on how poor your client is, get wasted

If the website crashes during a customer demo, drink

If someone says a bug should really be a feature enhancement, pour a pint

If someone thinks the prototype is a functioning product, drink a White Russian

Every time you hear Sketch is for mobile only, buy a beer for Adobe

If someone dismisses a usability issue and says it is working as designed, drink a double

When UX and UI are used interchangeably in conversations, drink until dead

If the CAPTCHA is impossible to read, drink

When someone uses a yachting analogy, drink

If someone says we need to think about if from the user perspective, drink

When the designer is force fed design directions, bottoms up

When someone asks, "Where is the UX in my website?" drink

When a debate arises over border style and UX is thought to be the solution, drink

If new features need new UX, drink something with an umbrella

If they ask you to add a slide at the end with swim lanes, drink

If the designer spends more time talking about design than designing, drink

If the CTO leads the design meeting, drink

If someone says, "They don't do it like that on the R/GA website," drink

If external designers exclude the client from design discussions, drink

If someone waits until site is launched to give feedback, buy a 4 pack of hard cider before noon

When you validate predicted usage patterns with data and you're right, drink

If you're introduced to the client as the project manager, drink

If a mockup goes back to the designer more than three times, drink

If someone gives advice about Lean UX but hasn't done it, drink

If the response to your request is, "It's on our radar," drink and expect nothing

If the wireframes were created in Excel, drink a California Cooler

Is someone says, "Make it sexy," neck a pint of cider with ice

If someone thinks branding means picking a color, drink

If someone calls your wireframes "too detailed," drink

If you are told that the 5 to 9 rule can be easily extended to 12, have a mojito

If somebody wants you to add ads to a purchasing flow, buy a round of peanuts

If you're asked to make it interactive, drink

If the launch date was moved forward by 3 months because of management decisions, get wasted

If you are allowed to use only three brand colors, go to a new bar

If you hear "second screen," empty the glass of your neighbor

If you live in Switzerland and your application is meant to work like an army knife, have a Calanda

If your designer uses medium grey text on light grey backgrounds because its cool, have milk

If the company logo appears three times per page, have three tequilas

If the images you`re meant to use are all thumbnail resolution, have a Jagermeister

If someone decides the website should be in yellow, drink yellow beer

If the only colors you are allowed to use are the three brand colors, drink

If someone wants to use PowerPoint graphics, drink a Long Island Iced Tea

If you're told to add the item to the settings, drink

If the designers book a conference room for an Apple announcement, drink

If your client thinks the UXies signify design excellence, drink

If someone thinks a "Bigger than Bigger" slogan will sell mobile devices, drink

When you tap on a screen only to realize is just a demo screenshot, drink

If someone says they want the UX to feel pretty, hang up and drink

If someone dictates website content based on contrived use cases, quit

If getting to market is more important than designing the product well, empty the bottle

When there are requirements to renaming items, drink

If PDF documentation was written for the step by step wizard, drink

If a new bug becomes a feature, drink a bottle of tequila.

If someone tells you no training or experience is needed to design, get wasted

If the UX process has a different name to get adoption in an organization, drink

If someone only focuses the digital experience when explaining UX, drink

When someone talks about cross-channel but focuses only on digital, drink

When the client says, "Don't have sucky UX," drink

If someone asks you add UX to their PowerPoint, drink

When someone says, "It might be what users prefer, but we have to monetize it somehow," drink

If a non-designer says they have an eye for UX, drink

When someone says working with designers is a bottleneck, drink

If the developer says, "I only did what was written in the specifications," drink

If your Content Strategist has never put together a style gide, drink

If someone thinks Courier is a great font choice for a social network, drink

If you visit uxdrinkinggame.com with a Blackberry, drink

If someone says, "just add a user setting," drink

When someone asks, "How will users know they can click this?" drink

When someone wants to call the website a portal, drink

If your Agile practice makes the title an oxymoron, drink

When someone wants a responsive site and all you're given is a PDF from a print designer, drink

Every time someone says, "delight the user," drink

If you don't have access to end users, drink

If you ask for a high resolution logo, and they paste it into a Word document, drink

If you can't find Login, drink and then call the Helpdesk

When someone asks that the static design be made more clickable, drink

If a UX Designer includes print work in their portfolio, drink

If someone rejects the design because it has lorem ipsum everywhere, drink

If someone says, "Make it look like PowerPoint," drink

If a customer says, "Make the content relevant and timely," drink

If they want to use their 1999 logo, chase your drink with Frutopia

When you fundamentally disagree with everything the usability tester says, drink

When you build a working prototype and they test the paper prototype, drink

When you get asked repeatedly when analytics will be ready and it's already in the prototype, drink

When the developers have better ideas than the design team but aren't allowed to talk to them, drink

When the only assets you get are PDFs, drink a lot. Then make them drink.

If your team is being agile by planning out the next three weeks of work, drink three shots

If the usability test spoon-feeds user instructions, drink

If the mobile first design only works on desktop, drink

If the responsive design has a hover state, drink

If the engineering manager has no engineering experience, drink

If you used actual client content on a comp and they complain it is old, chug the rest of your drink

If someone says "mental model," drink

If someone thinks prototypes are requirements, drink

If someone thinks wireframes are user experience, drink

If someone suggests verbose help language can fix a UX problem, drink

If someone blames the designer for a feature not finished by engineering, drink

If someone already has an idea in their head of what it needs to look like, drink

If your wireframe has been implemented looking exactly like a wireframe, drink

Every time the engineer says, "I don't like the look and feel," drink

If someone thinks light gray is a good color for hyperlinks, drink

When the feedback on the personas is to create more of them, drink

When someone requests a feature outside of the sprint commitment, drink

When someone asks for tabs inside of tabs, drink

Every time someone says, "I want it to use HTML 5 and be responsive," have 3 shots of tequila

if someone says wireframes are unnecessary for this project, drink a Pina Colada

Every time process gets in the way of progress, drink

Every time someone says, "mobile first," drink

If the designers do user research, get drunk before you get the results

If you get a revision that says "The copy document says...," drink a lot

If someone tells you that users don't know how to scroll, drink

If your stakeholder says they're a user, drink a double

If someone talks about an MVP but doesn't know what it means, drink

If your company supports UX but doesn't undestand the process, drink

If the Product Manager doesn't know how to write user stories, drink

If legal "helps" with rewording the content after you're done, drink

If someone complains the slideshow has no back button, drink

When UX review means the designer fixing the developer's CSS, drink

If the CEO is wireframing, buy him a drink

If requirements arrive as wireframes drawn in Microsoft Paint, buy a bottle of tequila

When someone asks to correct a typo on the wireframe, drink

If one percent of your digital transformation budget goes to UX, drink

If your solution to a problem gets rejected because is too modern, drink

If someone says wireframing isn't Agile, drink

When someone hires an interaction designer to make icons, drink

If your wireframe looks better than the final design, drink

When someone suggests a hamburger menu, drink

Every time someone says, "We have train to our customers," drink

If someone says don't worry about use cases, just do a usability review, drink

If someone calls you a week before launch to come fix the design, drink

When someone says the application works only on Chrome, drink

Every time someone calls the personas "cute," drink

If someone asks you to change the wireframes to match what developers actually built, drink

If someone says a missed requirement is the user's fault, drink

If the designer has zero political power, empty the bottle

If the website works only in Safari, drink

If Product Management and UX report to Engineering, drink

If the relevant content in an email matches the landing page, drink

If a someone calls the mockup they made in MS Publisher high fidelity, drink

If someone asks for your source files so they can design, drink

If information architecture is called a strategic task, drink

If engineers interpret usability test based recommendations as "suggestions," drink

If someone says process, drink

When HR favorites your drinking game tweet, drink

If you're expected to innovate without research, drink

If the team has a post mortem and they decide it's all your fault, drink

If someone says they love it but could it be more fun, shoot yourself

If someone says, "we don't need UX, it's an internal project," drink

If CTO thinks he is the only end user, slam shots

If only the text on a button is clickable, drink

If a website automatically subscribes you to their email list, drink

If a field has a length limit but no character count, drink

When the design revisions come back in Microsoft Word, drink a lot

When someone uses the term "blue sky", drink

If the development is ready before the prototype, drink

If a client says, "We need a bit of UX", drink.