If someone says buttons should be orange and green because they test the best, drink
If your boss asks you to test 41 shades of blue, drink
If your boss asks you to test 41 different +1 buttons, drink
If your boss looks like Steve Jobs, buy a round
If someone demands the page must have breadcrumbs, drink
If a developer suggests you should learn HTML, CSS, and jQuery, drink
If you have to explain your job to your parents, do three shots of wild turkey
If someone tells you Flash is 99 percent bad, do a shot
If your boss says he's an expert because he reads Jakob Nielsen, drink
If your client says it has to be within three clicks, drink
If your client says it has to be baby blue because his mom likes baby blue, drink
If the branding guidelines guarantee an unusable user experience, drink
If someone writes a cryptic error message understood by nobody, drink
If you have to use a multiselect widget, finish the bottle
If a designer doesn't know Don Norman, Bill Buxton or Alan Cooper, do a shot
If your developers don't implement a feature because it isn't cool enough, drink
If you're asked about jQuery, CSS or HTML during a job interview, pound a PBR
If you have to tell someone he isn't the target audience, pound a shot
If someone calls you a web designer, do a shot and follow with a beer chaser
If a developer asks you for complete mockups and HTML, do a shot
If your boss quotes Steve Jobs, drink a Bud Light
If your boss dresses like Steve Jobs, do a shot
If your boss was Steve Jobs, everyone should buy you a drink
If you have nightmares about changing the wireframes for the 20th time, drink a Bud Light
If a recruiter calls and asks if you can also program, do a shot
If any discussion about UX begins with checking the resource schedule, do a shot
If someone says Basecamp has the best UX, break a bottle over their head
If the features were cut because they took too long to code, drink
If you're a UX designer and introducing yourself as a "web designer" backfires, drink
If someone says it has to work on Internet Explorer for Mac, do a shot
If someone uses fake statistics, drink
If someone asks you to write a 100 page spec by Monday Morning, do a shot
If your boss says we don't need to test, drink
If someone says gamification has to be added, do a shot
If someone says the site sucks without understanding the audience, do a shot
If your boss asks to go straight to design, drink
If someone calls you to fix the server, do a shot
If someone can't tell you who the target audience is, drink
If someone tells you the internet is a fad, drink
If you call yourself a UX ninja, rockstar or guru, buy drinks for the house
If someone says they can get a better design off of 99 Designs, drink
If a designer proudly shows you their meticulous concept sketches, do a shot
If someone says their business idea is like MySpace but better, do a shot
If someone asks what a wireframe is, drink a Chimay red
If your UX expert arrives wearing a black turtleneck, drink
If someone asks for a clean interface but can't explain it, drink
If you're told to design a feature even if the ROI is -20 dollars per user, drink
If someone says it's unintuitive but can't explain what it means, drink
If someone asks you to do wireframes for $100, drink a PBR
If a UX agency says they're better than a marketing agency, do a shot
If someone says the site has to work on IE6, drink
If the client says the site has to work on Netscape 4.72, take two drinks
If someone talks about how the site should work like AOL, do a beer bong
If someone says Web 2.0 is a requirement, empty the bottle of tequila
If someone suggests you should use feng shui to design a site, do a shot
If someone cuts wireframes from the proposal because he doesn't want to pay, do a shot
If you say to someone, "this will never work" and he still wants to do it, drink
If someone says he started doing wireframes in PowerPoint, drink
If someone says it's like Twitter except people pay, drink
If someone says it's like Facebook for people with no friends, drink
If your team gets upset because you changed the wireframes, do a shot
If someone pronounces GUI "Gooey," do a shot
If the UX expert waves their hands around, drink
If you design a feature and it is released a year later, drink
If the main navigation is hardcoded on every page, drink
If someone says, "Screw the users," drink a fifth of vodka
If you've successfully used UX as a pickup line, order a Macallan 12 on the rocks
If there's no budget for user research, drink
If a recruiter calls you about a UX role and asks about Java or WCF, drink
If someone talks about the user as an abstract concept, drink
If you own a UX book signed by the author, buy drinks for everyone
If your device autocompletes to something really embarrassing, drink
If perfect wireframes are a required deliverable, do a shot
Every time someone says Jakob, drink
If someone asks you to make the design sexier, drink
If someone talks loudly in the usability test observation room, do a shot
If you had lunch with Bruce Tognazzini, buy drinks for the house
If a website logo links to somewhere except the home page, do a shot
If someone says it's cool because it's fancy and blinking, drink
If the page reloads every time someone clicks on anything in a checkout process, drink
If someone asks you to remove bald people from the personas, drink
If someone can't get their head around wireframes, drink
If you're still researching and someone hands you scribbled page designs, drink
If someone uses Forrester reports to make design decisions, drink two pints of ale
If someone insists on having a huge Facebook widget on the home page, drink
If the website comes out nothing like what you designed, do a shot
If everyone is impressed when you mention ethnography, have a cognac
If you have to get consensus from two dozen stakeholders, drink a keg
If someone says, "It's just common sense," drink
If someone asks you to design the system architecture, do a shot
If someone says, "We trust your expert opinion" yet insists it should be pink, drink
If you spend most of your time producing instead of designing, fill your water bottle with whisky
If you've met Don Norman, buy drinks for the house
If someone says that you can't design user experience, drink
If your user research participant constantly describes how they think others behave, do a shot
If a UX designer tells you they don't need to do research, drink
If someone groans when you use the whiteboard, do a shot -- every time
If someone shows you a Venn diagram other than Peter Morville's, drink
If someone claims to specialize in more than one field, drink the bottle
If someone calls bullshit on your design rationale and they're right, buy them a beer
If you ask a designer what UX is and they say it's just wireframes, drink
If someone says, "I don't want to do your job for you" and then sketches on the whiteboard, drink
If someone says they don't want it to be "Web 2.0," drink
If someone says, "Above the fold," smash the bottle over their head
If someone confuses his opinion with a data-backed assertion, drink
If someone sets content requirements but can't describe the content, drink
If someone thinks eye tracking would solve everything, do a shot
If your team thinks Agile means endless changes and no documentation, finish the bottle
If someone thinks user acceptance testing is usability testing, drink
If someone wants 20 elements above the fold, drink
If someone asks where the fold is, drink
If a usability test participant says, "I like user-friendly sites," do a shot
If usability testing is administered by Marketing, drink
If you're doing wireframes without requirements, do a shot
If someone doesn't care if it works on mobile, drink
If someone says requirements aren't needed to do wireframes, have a martini
If someone sends you a job asking for UX, C++ and Social Media, drink
When there's no way to close the overlay, drink
If someone says, "From a usability perspective this is the best solution," do a shot
When the UX decisions are made by group vote, prepare a pitcher of margaritas
If someone finally asks for data, but says one week is enough time, drink
If someone cuts your user testing software from the budget again, drink
If a QR code doesn't lead to mobile-enabled content, drink
If a developer says it will be ready "next week," drink
When a feature works exactly as designed, buy a round
If someone always has "reasons" for features they dislike, drink
If someone says, "Usability doesn't win awards," do a shot
If someone is designing a system they have never used, do a shot
If you dress like Steve Jobs, strip naked and do a shot
If there's no time to question the usability in a meeting, drink
If someone says we need quick research, do a shot
If someone asks you to critique a site without knowing the design constraints, drink
If someone asks to postpone features to next phase, drink
If the hyperlinks are pink, order a Shirley Temple
If someone wants a prototype that uses "production ready code," drink
If someone says they love user centered design, pinch them and drink
If a developer says he knows more about user experience, do a shot
If someone asks why an iPad app can't have Flash, drink a pink martini
When someone wants it in PowerPoint so he can present it himself, do a shot
If your someone says it should be "more webby," do two shots
If you have drinks with Dan Saffer, do a shot
If someone tells you that the target audience is everyone, do a shot
If someone says something is too hard but doesn't provide solutions, do a shot
If someone built a feature without talking to anyone, drink
A recruiter asks you to refer someone with an antiquated skill set, drink
If someone says, "Accessibility isn't a requirement," keep drinking until blind
If someone says we'll have the developer do the UI, do a shot
If the checkout button is smaller than a postage stamp, drink
If the designer refuses to follow the wireframes, do a shot
When your mobile app passes 100,000 installs, buy a round
If someone asks you to design a logo with the wireframes, drink a mojito
If someone's phone made a funny auto correct on a work text, buy them a drink
If the visual design is completely different from the wireframes, drink
If the visual design makes your wireframes better, buy champagne
If form fields clear when a user submits and there's an error, have a rum punch
If you know the difference between content strategy and information architecture, drink
If someone wants all Flash on the landing page, drink
If someone asks how much user experience adds to the budget, drink
If someone thinks UX is just visual design, drink
If the project manager has no budget for UX in the proposal, drink
If someone asks you to include visual design in the wireframes, drink
If a designer says visual design is more important than user experience, drink
If "Save" is only at the top of a long page, drink
If someone says UX is the brand, have a handcrafted artisan cocktail
If someone says you can just make up the personas, drink two kamikazes
If someone says the users will figure it out, drink
if you're scheduled into a 20 person meeting to evaluate the design, drink floor cleaner
If you've had a project where UX made a difference, drink a mai tai
If someone asks you to write down all the questions in advance, drink
If someone insists your form needs a reset button, drink
If someone wants to put feature bullets on the home page, drink
If someone asks you to make the button bigger, drink a Mai Tai
If someone says they aren't very good with computers, buy them a drink
If you are given conflicting requirements, drink a sea breeze
If your designer creates new features without checking the strategy document, drink
If a visual designer creates their own wireframes, drink
If someone thinks Facebook "Like" is a social strategy, drink
If you have to explain Fitts's Law, pound a PBR
If your usability budget is used to pay for a launch party, bong a six pack
If your VP of Marketing wants to "gamify" your registration flow, drink
If someone refers to user experience as "doing usability," drink
If Will Evans replies to one of your tweets with an obscenity, drink
If someone says their Business Analyst already has the mockups ready for you, drink
If the job description requires a bachelors in computer science, drink
If a recruiter asks how many years of Fireworks experience you have, drink
If someone asks you to move cross country for a 3 month gig paying $40 per hour, drink
If you're up for the same design position as a friend, drink
If someone says it's Dutch according to Google Translate, have a Heineken
When someone asks for wireframes in PowerPoint, run to the bar
If someone says, "We don't need research, I know what users want," eat the tequila worm
If someone argues about UX design process, but has no UX portfolio, drink
If someone says Agile without UX creates more elegant products, do a jello shot
If someone tells you the red button does better in A/B testing, do a Jagerbomb
If someone asks to make it blink, do a shot
If someone ask for changes after a deadline passes, drink
If the error messages are in uppercase and red, drink
If someone has the same UX job title as you and there's no overlap between what you do, drink
If someone demands personas but won't budget for research, drink
If someone develops in Quirks Mode because doctypes make validation "difficult," drink
If users have to read FAQs to understand the service, drink
If someone says, "All our users are stupid," drink until you drop 20 IQ points
If someone says we need to integrate social media, drink
If a developer says they have "installed usability" before, have a shot
If someone adds a feature to artificially increase a metric, drink
If someone wants QR codes because they saw it somewhere, drink
If someone uses the word 'tradigital,' drink
If someone asks why the prototype isn't working during a usability test, drink
If someone does the site redesign himself and he's not a designer, drink
If someone wants the ratio of his logo to the nav bar to be The Golden Mean, drink
If you use Axure, but the client wants wireframes in PowerPoint, drink
If you don't get the contract because the developer told the client he's great with UX, drink
If someone thinks they are a better designer than the designer, drink
If someone tells you to remove the checkmarks and replace with X's, drink
If someone asks you to "make the UX pop," drink
If someone calls Pinterest "Pin-interest," drink in your own interest
If the project manager is the CEO, take a rainbow ski shot
If someone starts a sentence with, "All you have to do is," drink
If that 12 step wizard is not going to get fixed because "it works," gulp the Long Island Ice Tea
If the client says that the call to action buttons stand out too much, do a shot
If a designer ignores user feedback, do a shot
If the CEO asks if we can use the cloud, drink
If a developer says, "I need complete wireframes before I can code," drink
If the user story consists of a hyperlink, drink
When someone wants personas after the first discovery meeting, drink
If someone wants everything on the top navigation, drink
If someone asks why the wireframes have no color, do a double shot
If someone says the UX can't be built because they use Java, drink
If someone thinks the shopping cart shouldn't have dollar amounts, drink
If you can't switch the language of a site because it only works for IP detection, drink
If someone asks for a bigger logo, drink
If the front-end developer moves the button without feedback, drink
If someone makes you sign a NDA for an existing idea, drink
If a front-end developer calls himself an Interaction Designer, drink
If someone think the UX team should be under marketing, drink
If someone takes your UX ideas as their own to present, drink a lot
If someone wants to build every single feature on the internet into one site, drink
If someone asks you to copy another site, drink
If you hear someone pronounce UX as "uuuks," light your drink on fire
If someone asks you to clear your browser cache, drink
If the developers spend more time playing Product Managers than writing code, drink
If someone says UX isn't important because users already know about us, drink
If someone says to give your design to one of the designers to clean it up, drink
If Beer Friday starts when you're not finished, have a beer
If someone says our users are different and will read everything, take a double shot
If someone wants to add images and videos because users don't read, drink
If you have no records of anyone ever asking the questions in your FAQs, drink
If someone tells you that most of the website should be above the fold, drink
If you are asked to rearchitect a SharePoint site, drink the nearest bottle of wine
If someone is positioning new buttons based on statistical click analysis of the old site, drink
If someone suggests you do wireframes in Balsamiq so they can change them, drink
If someone asks, "it's going to look like that?" when you show wireframes, drink
If someone loves the Comic Sans in Balsamiq so much they want it for the site, drink
If someone gets wireframes and wants to talk features and functionality, champagne!
If someone uses curation during a meeting, drink
If someone uses "frictionless sharing" during a meeting, drink
If you are asked to put breadcrumbs on a site when they are unnecessary, drink
If someone describes your role as "they make things look good," drink
If another designer rips your site's legacy design on Twitter, drink
If someone says they can't implement UX because it's not Web 2.0, drink
If someone says, "Don't worry, we'll just put help text next to it," drink
If someone says, "We can add that to the preferences," drink
If someone says, "low hanging fruit," go to the pub for a long pint
Every time someone says "gamification," drink
If someone criticizes your wireframes because they aren't in color, do a shot
If someone asks about lorem ipsum, drink
If someone clicks on a mockup and asks why is it not working, drink
If someone says, "We cannot have four boxes there because its bad luck," drink
If your boss says, "We don't believe in Quality Assurance," do a shot
If your behavioral research is rejected because it lacks statistical significance, drink
If the developers refuse to push the code fixing all bugs before a demo, drink
If the opt-in must be pre-checked, drink and eat the glass
If someone asks to include an opt-out, drink 5 tequilas, eat the worm and the glass
If someone asks what value user research adds, drink
If someone asks whether your design decisions are confusing to the user, do a shot
If a designer uses the word cool to describe the value of the work, drink
If a recruiter asks if you are a UX Business Analyst, drink
If they ask you to check your UX documents into Rational ClearCase, take 2 shots
If someone says it's what the users told us they wanted, drink
If your boss says there's no time for research, empty a bottle
If someone says it needs more red, do a shot
If someone says it has to be "intuitive" without knowing who the user is, drink
If someone says the grey used in your wireframes is too dark, bust out the vodka
If someone references apple.com, take a two shots
If someone says users don't scroll, drink a Long Island
If someone says all the links should just say, "read more..." drink
If someone says, "Blind people aren't in our target audience," drink
If someone asks you to write business requirements, drink
If a metric is "collect email address for spamming," drink
If the QA team is asking for test requirments before the first sprint is done, drink
If someone rejects a feature because they can't code it, down the bottle
If your designer is the only tattooed, pierced weirdo in the office, buy him a drink
If someone thinks localization is supporting double byte character sets, drink
If someone says, "Web 2.0," drink
If someone says, "This how they did it in Gmail," take a dive into a tequila bottle
If the engineering manager told you that his engineers can implement the UX, drink
If your answer to everything is "If I tell you, my job wouldn't be important," buy everyone a drink
If someone wants a gamification badge photo sharing mobile app, drink
If your UX strategy for generating revenue is "that's the client's problem," stop drinking
If a designer uses "ubiquitous" and "synergy" to explain UX, drink
If the Product Manager blames you for not clearly defining the requirements, drink
If the UX designer is fired because "UX is a waste of money," drink
If someone claims to be a UX designer because they design Flash websites, drink
If the client wants unfriendly interface because it's the industry standard, drink
If someone says your sketchy-style wireframes are ugly, drink
If someone says the are a UX expert because they designed an infographic, drink
If someone asks "If Jakob Nielsen knows so much about usability, why is his site so ugly?" drink
If paper prototyping comes after QA, do a shot
If the someone insists on having a splash screen, drink
If someone asks you to "pretty it up," drink
If a Product Manager says they do usability, take a double shot
If someone wants to push it live at 5 p.m. on Friday, do 5 shots
If the developers didn't implement it because it wasn't in wireframes, drink
If the user can't find the submit button, drink
If someone says they designed video games and didn't need UX, drink
If someone wants you to pair program with him, drink
If someone tells you they're going forward with the redesign and skipping research, drink
Every time Louis Rosenfeld says, "It depends," drink
If you have backend developers applying CSS, drink
If the prototype will be ready in time for testing, drink
If someone says to give participants tasks and ask them to think aloud, drink
If someone asks you to put it through "userability," slam a shot
If someone says to use an icon, even if it's not intuitive, drink
If scope was cut to meet an arbitrary deadline, drink
If the management team believes the user deserves an experience, drink
If your designers rock out to Sapient's "Idea Engineer," pound a Kingfisher
If someone always sends screenshots in a Microsoft Word file, drink
If the offshore developers are making UX decisions, drink
If someone says your design isn't spunky enough, take three shots
If someone argues "build, launch, learn" is good product design, body shot a pickleback
If you have to NASCAR the interface with social sharing icons, drink
If your designer asks, "What's the fold," drink
If the SOW is signed after the first phase participants are recruited, knock back a bourbon
If someone demands modeling the site on Amazon, slug a shot
If the client pays for personas but expects market segments, knock back a stein
If someone says the developers can just color in your wireframes, drink
If someone refers to web design as "doing digital," drink
If someone describes usability as fonts and colors, pour a shot in a glass and drink the bottle
If feedback returns an error page, pour petrol over yourself and light a match
If someone can't explain the language used in the project goals, drink
If someone implemented a feature without reading the wireframes, drink
If someone says you don't need any form validation, drink
If someone says make it like Flipboard, drink
If users have to read the manual to upgrade, drink
If someone doesn't like the color of your design while they're wearing it, drink
If someone says you don't need a portfolio to get a UX designer job, drink
If someone says, "Our research indicates..." without sharing the research, drink
If someone asks for the KPI of a web page, drink his beer
If someone wants to talk about "learnings," drink
If someone says it's easy to use because it's on Windows, drink
If they use the prototype for a marketing tour, drink
If someone says, "value proposition," drink
If user stories are thought up without interviewing users, drink
If someone says the team doesn't need UX because he's discovered Balsamiq, drink
If someone requires you to do wireframes in Balsamiq, drink until pickled
If someone wants logos in the wireframes, drink two irish coffees
If you're doing the wireframes and the content strategy, buy yourself a drink
If the wireframes will be shipped to offshore developers, drink
If you have to explain why to use Fireworks instead of Photoshop, drink
If someone's first email is links to ideas for the project, drink
If you design features that would appeal to only you, go face down in the punch bowl
If someone asks you to make wireframes in color, drink lemonade and buy glitter
If someone says they cannot implement your UX in SharePoint, drink
If the form times out when you are thinking of a complex required password, drink
If someone asks you to change something because it's easier for developers, drink
If someone says users will read the manual, drink
If developers build features that users say they don't need, drink
If someone tells you to make it responsive, drink
If you see a "click here" on a website, drink
If the bootstrapping startup wants an offshore engineering team, drink
If your project gets canned just when you had an epiphany, drink
If someone wants you to "make it like a game," drink
If you're at the UX Speakeasy Conference in San Diego, drink
If the RFP leaves out user experience but includes visual design, drink
If the site says expired when you're still searching, drink
When someone asks for four-color proofs of a web page, join AA
If someone wants to put a 600 word menu on the page, drink
If someone references Apple, drink
If someone says something is easy but can't do it themselves, drink
If someone says it can be done with CSS, but can't actually produce CSS, drink Absinthe
When someone asks if we can just re-use another client's personas, drink
If you look at the brief for the project after it's been completed, drink
If someone says your site sucks but doesn't explain why, do a shot
If you go through five iterations and end up at the original design, drink
If you have to agree that an A/B test a bad idea just to stop arguing about it, drink
If someone thinks a wireframe is a finished design, drink
If someone submits your wireframes without providing any context, drink
If someone says, "The wireframes are too grey -- is there something we can do about that?" drink
If someone will only build the new UX using components from the current UX, drink
If someone's husband doesn't like rounded corners, drink
If someone says that there will be less to sell if tasks are too simplified, drink
If you're at Interaction12 in Dublin, Ireland, drink
If someone asks why you need to set goals, drink. If your team asks, drink twice.
If someone asks why we need wireframes when the mockups are already done, drink
When someone hires you and then wants to design it themselves, drink
If the designer insists on unlabelled icons, drink
If the UX improvements are "post launch," drink
If someone says they love your wireframes but they're too grey, drink
If someone wants a certain color for an already approved design, just drink
When a developer says they need perfect wireframes to write front end code, drink
If someone doesn't ask you to add social buttons to the website, start getting sober
If someone asks if you can do an Excel macro, drink
If someone re-designs your wireframes because they doesn't fit the brand standards, drink
If the team eschews UX because the project is just a proof of concept, drink
If the agency is supposed to deliver segments but they come back with personas, drink
If the UX Style Guide describes only branding standards, drink
If you see a job ad for a UX Developer with .NET experience, drown it in vodka
If someone asks what Section 508 is, drink
If someone thinks they know users better than you do after months of research, drink
If the brief says it must be "simple and clear, but have over 200 features," drink
If someone says they don't give a damn about Apple's Human Interface Guidelines, do a shot
If a user story starts with "As a person, I can ...," drink
When you can't design for fear of "setting expectations," drink
If you're the only person in the organization who understands strategic thinking, drink
If your research and evidence-based design lose against management's whims, drink
If someone asks you to make it mobile, drink
When your organization forbids sticking anything up on walls, drink
If someone doesn't give a damn about Android devices, drink
If someone has no questions regarding the new prototype you just sent, drink
If someone asks if the site will be tested with real users, have an open bar!
When a creative director says UX is a myth, drink
If they hire you as the UX expert but don't follow recommendations, drink
If someone says the project is so important that we aren't following process, drink
If the UX team is told to consider branding over usability, drink
If someone quotes Susan Greenfield, drink to oblivion
If the developers hire a UX person but won't change their workflow, drink
If someone says carousel, drink
If someone name drops Eric Reiss, drink
If someone asks the UX researcher to do the wireframes, drink
If someone interchanges UI and UX in a sentence, drink
If a text field to enter email address in a form starts with upper case, drink
If someone says they will do the wireframes because they have a Mac, drink
If someone asks if SEO is turned on, run to the nearest bar
If someone says a CAPTCHA is needed on all forms, drink
If the designer does opposite of your UX recommendation, drink from the bottle
If someone thinks good UX means we "just do what Google does," do 5 shots
If the engineers think good UX means their code complies with accessibility standards, drink
Every time your developer tells you how Ethan Marcotte would design it, do a shot
If your manager is playing the UX Drinking Game, drink
If someone talks about user mental models as the "things people do," bottoms up
If someone submits your napkin sketch to the developer as the requirements, drink
If the features and release date are set before research, drink
If someone says the wireframes don't have enough branding, pour whiskey in their eyes
If your Product Managers ask you to write requirements, pour a tall scotch
If the creative brief contains the words "delight the user," do a shot
If someone instructs you to make it easy to use, drink
If someone thinks fun is a strategic direction, drink
If the UX Drinking Game results in too much drinking, take four shots
If someone rejects the prototype because the code is buggy, spit your drink
If someone says, "I don't believe in user research," drink
If someone suggests to imitate Microsoft's Office UI, get drunk
If your only personae is John King from CNN, buy a round
If you have to do the wireframes after the design is complete, drink
If someone instructs you to put every button on the right, drink
When someone says don't worry about the UI, it's Web 2.0, eat the worm
If you can code but can't do information architecture, go into rehab
When someone asks you for case studies proving the validity of user research, drink
If someone says we should leverage the existing templates from another project, drink
If someone wants the next UX to put a dent in the universe, drink
If you see the default language of a webpage in India set to Hindi, drink
If someone wants social media share buttons only at the top of the page, drink
If your first impulse is to sketch it on a whiteboard, drink
If someone asks you for personas based on only quantitative research, drink
If you are a designer who doesn't know Photoshop, drink
If your developer knows Photoshop better than your designer, drink
If the client asks if the website will be in English instead of lorem ipsum, drink
If your stakeholder says every single user is in your target segment, drink
If someone says make the experience "fun" and "engaging," drink
If someone asks if they can censor user speech, drink
If your title has changed from UI to IA to UX to ID to IA, drink
If you've searched job listings using the keyword "wireframe," drink a lot
If your engineer says it can't be changed anymore because he started coding yesterday, drink
If you thought becoming a lawyer would be better than being a UX designer, shoot yourself
If any discussion about UX begins with "Let's get marketing," do two shots
If the site is gorgeous yet absolutely unusable by any audience, drink
If someone builds a photo app because Instagram was bought for $1 billion, drink
If you build a photo application that is bought for $1 billion, buy the next round
If someone says, "Make it just like TurboTax," order a double martini
If your designer prefers Fireworks to Photoshop, drink
When someone says, "Make the experience immersive," drink
If recruited users say they have 20 minutes for your interview, drink
If the product is ready to ship, and then they come to the UX team for a "review," empty the bar
When someone equates "user-centered design" with a GUI, head to happy hour
If someone wants to skip wireframes and go straight to mockups done in Photoshop, drink
If you refer to yourself as a pundit, rockstar, ninja or evangelist, drink
If someone suggests giving the close box the same functionality as the OK button, do a shot
If someone calls themselves a Pinterest expert, drink
If someone thinks wireframes drive the requirements, drink
If someone claims they can make the argument that a laptop is a mobile device, drink
If someone asks "can we see that in cornflower blue," start Fight Club, then drink
If someone says, "We'll write the copy later, it's just words," drink
If the developer says, "UX? Why? I can lay out a screen," do a shot
If someone says everything must be red because that's our brand color, drink up
If a recruiter asks if you have 5 years experience with Adobe CS6 do a shot
Your brother-in-law asks if you are still into computers and can you fix his AOL, drink
Developers balk at your streamlined design because it means fewer features to sell, drink
If someone says, "We don't want to overthink the UX Strategy," drink
If someone says your UX is as good as Facebook's, down a bottle
If someone complains to you about the Microsoft ribbon menu, take a proxy shot
If someone says you should use a new PPT template to emulate Apple's brand success, drink
When someone tells you you're only designing responsively "to be cool," drink
Every time your developer tells you something is impossible, do a shot
If there's no content, do shots until it gets there
When someone says everything has to be solved in a generic way, have a brandy
If someone asks for the Pantone number of the green button, do a shot of absinthe
If everything is red to follow the branding guidelines, drink
If the project that requires user research data has no research data, drink
If a project spans 8 months and there's 40 hours for UX, buy the bar
If you have to ask why there is no designer involved, drink a bottle of wine
If a visual designer says, "I wouldn't find it confusing," drink a vodka shot
If someone asks you to translate the wireframes, do a double shot
If the Principal UX Designer doesn't understand UX principles but speaks well, drink
If someone says make a good design even if it is not usable, drink
If a new feature is in scope for a project but not yours, drink
If there isn't time to test something redesigned at the last minute, drink
If someone says it's like Facebook for Twitter, drink
If someone says their idea will be worth as much as Facebook, drink
If someone thinks they are the next Mark Zuckerberg, drink
If your boss dresses like Mark Zuckerberg, drink
If your boss is Mark Zuckerberg, he should buy the bar
If someone says responsive and doesn't know what it is, drink
If your solution to a problem gets rejected because it isn't SharePoint, do a shot
If you have to explain clicking twice on a link isn't acceptable, drink
If annotated wireframes aren't enough for co-workers sitting 10 feet away, drink
If changes to uncoded features are rejected because the use case needs to be revised, drink
If someone says they will never read the strategy recommendation report, drink
If responsive and social are used in the same sentence, drink
If you're on vacation in two days and someone doubles scope, start vacation early and drink
When UPA changes to UXPA, do a shot of tequila and watch the debates ensue
If someone sends a screenshot embedded in a Word document, drink
If the job ad asks for someone who does "Y Frames," drink
If they're looking for a "UI/UX designer," drink
If your friends think you draw cartoons for a living, drink
If someone asks you to make the fake names in your wireframes more ethnically diverse, do two shots
If you are the only one who knows what UX means, finish the bottle
When the client says the briefing is to have the iPhone of their business, drink
If someone says design doesn't look sexy, tell them to keep drinking until it does
If the client thinks wireframes are made of wire, drink a bottle of absinthe
If you must scope down until your design is a skinned version of the old one, drain the bottle
If a job description says they are looking for a "ninja", "jedi", or "rockstar," drink
If someone finds it strange that you don't design on a Mac, drink
If you get the feeling you would do a better job on the front-end than the developers, drink
If branding means using a company PowerPoint template, drink
If someone says, that the User Interface isn't sexy enough, drink
If your someone says, "The design is done, now let's get to the real work," drink
If you have to sneak around to do the right thing, have a drink, but quietly
If the account team says they have been creating wireframes, liquor up!
If the Chief Creative Officer or Chief Strategy Officer thinks they should own UX, drink
If someone requests "bespoke" UX, drink a Pimm's Cup
If someone asks you to test 50 shades of grey, do a shot and go directly to HR
If someone says the current design "doesn't feel good," chug the bottle
Every time someone wants a feature because they "like it," drink
If someone asks you to be creative, drink
If someone asks why a feature is included after approving it the day before, drink
If someone wants the UI blue because Facebook is blue, drink
If someone has a spouse who just has a little feedback to give, drink a beer
When someone says the "design should ladder up," drink
If the error messages make the user feel she did something wrong, drink
If a job candidate's resume states he's an Interactive Designer, get him drunk
If a non-designer starts giving design direction, drink
If someone wants to add social icons next to every link on the page, drink then make them drink
If your developers can't work off Photoshop comps and ask for pixel-by-pixel specifications, drink
If someone starts their feedback with "Can't we just," drink
When you hear "surprise and delight users," drink
When "User Experience" is used by someone who doesn't understand it, drink
When people refer to Lorem Ipsum as "Greek," drink
If your co-worker muses over theoretical aspects of UX rather than working, drink
If someone dings your wireframes because the copy isn't correct, drink
If you return from vacation to find your UI totally redesigned, drink a Mai Tai
If someone wants to design a selection tool using nothing but sliders, do a jello shot
If someone wants the page to display all the database records, drink
If someone says user generated content can be used for a drinking game, drink
If someone says fidelity when they mean resolution and vice versa, drink a shot of Mad Dog
If someone doesn't know the difference between content strategy and copywriting, drink
If a developer requests an updated comp for a new paragraph of copy, drink
If you're pasting UX Drinking Game items into an email to explain what went wrong, drink
If someone asks you to "cuten" it up, drink
If someone says, "It looks great but let's get a committee together to go over it," drink
If someone says that UX equals Usability, get drunk
If your boss tell you to create UI examples in one hour, buy some Jack Daniels
If someone quotes Steve Jobs, take two shots
If the Account Manager is doing wireframes, drink
If the website design has more than three different font families, drink
If someone tells you to think out of the box, buy some Jack Daniels
If someone says the users will have to learn it, drink a lot
If you are surrounded by Account Managers that call themselves UX experts, get drunk
If you see an error message that says, "Error," get wasted
If someone asks you to make a clean design, do a Mojito
If your designer says, "Put the error messages somewhere," drink
If someone asks you for a HTML5 website with Flash, drink vodka
If your submit button is the Enter key, finish the bottle
If someone tells you to code the UX, drink 2 mojitos
If someone talks about clean design without knowing shit about design, drink
If all the Product Managers want the first location on the menu, drink the booze trolley
If a graphic designer has more say over the user experience than you do, drink
If someone says they can't improve the UX because it's a new feature, drink
If you design "Mobile first" without requirements, binge drink all night
If there's budget for 12 Developers but not a UX Designer, drink
If you have to A/B test the entire alphabet, do 26 shots
If all the reviews were written by the product owners, drink
If the product recommendations by users get in before there are users, ask for a drink
If someone says pagination is too hard to code, order a bloody mary
When things will be "fixed up" in the next release, drink
If the strategy is more important than the user, buy a round
If someone is discussing SEO possibilities on password protected pages, bang shots
When "Home Page" is a single user story, drink
If a developer suggests anything, drink
For every banner above the fold, do a shot
When you have to to quit drinking to the game because it harms the company reputation, drink
If you have to give advice about how to validate form fields with programming tips, drink
When your boss knows what's better for the user, drink
When there is more talk about visual design than user experience, slam shots
When you get a new job from posting to the UX Drinking Game, buy the next round
Drink a fifth of vodka for every textfield on the sign up page
For every required star on a form, do a shot
If the developers won't start until the wireframes are done and don't read them, drink
If a developer steps into your office because he needs a design solution now, drink
If you see a final design with Lorem Ipsum and Image placeholders as content, drink
If someone says there is a need to "establish the proper cadence for communication," drink
When you show wireframes and someone says, "So, you actually don't do anything," drink
Drink if usability issues are dismissed with "our users are smart," drink
If you go to UX Week for anything other than drinking, drink
If someone doesn't stop making drink jokes about user experience, drink
If someone wants to take UI at the design research phase of the project, drink
If someone wants to print the interactive prototype, add "Pint" button instead
If someone asks for a "best in class" solution, take out your best drinking glass
If a designer asks they need to know how write code, drink a beer with a developer
If your Product Manager designs full mockups but doesn't know what a grid is, buy a bottle
If you design amazing features, but no one markets them properly, drown in a bottle of scotch
If they want to introduce you to their "Webmaster," run to the nearest bar
If you end up cleaning up the mess left by the previous designer, drink
If someone asks for an all Flash website, drink
If someone thinks gathering feedback from everyone isn't design by committee, drink
If your website has more than three design iterations on display, take two shots
If your "UX Brief" is a scribbled post-it note, have a beer
If what was designed and tested was completely redesigned before launch, do a keg stand
If someone offers you equity to "make the application look pretty," drink
If you tell a test subject, "Ignore the words, they're not finalized yet," drink
If someone says, "We've covered UX by doing the use cases," drink
If someone doesn't like you using Sharpies because they smell, drink
If someone wants your wireframe to "pop more," drink a White Russian
If a feature design is dismissed because "the users are stupid," do a shot
If someone tells you to make the interface letter-sized paper, drink twice
If Back is to the right of the Continue, suck a lemon, shoot tequila and lick salt
If someone asks you to put the real banners in the wireframe, get wasted
If someone stares at you through the two way mirror during testing, drink
If someone edits HTML in Word, drink
If a requirement is "an easy, smooth and efficient experience," drink and go to sleep
If someone says, "In terms of usability," drink two mojitos
If the designer says, "Let's just use Twitter Bootstrap," drink
If a designer has to work their magic within an unscrollable iframe, drink
If someone says Mobile First for everything, drink
If someone talks about having "persona profiles," drink a double whisky
If a crude instant message appears during the user testing session, down an Old Fashioned
If the UX Designer has no idea what the web strategy is, go out for karaoke
If you go to SXSW and drink with your boss, buy a round
If usability findings are pared down to a bulleted list with no context, drink a Moscow Mule
If the design style guide hasn't been touched in 3 years, dirty martinis for all
When the last participant on Friday is 30 minutes late, do a shot in the observation room
If someone asks you to edit the findings deck to seem more favorable, pour a stiff one
If someone is hesitant to user test and wants more quick wins, drink
If you're expected to be the "voice of the user," finish the bottle
If you're told you're not allowed to talk to your users, drink
If someone says he wants the UI to be intuitive like an iPhone, chug a beer
If your presentations have to explain UX, drink
If the email newsletter sucks, break a bottle
If someone says labels should always be on top because Luke Wroblewski said so, drink
If someone knows the buzzwords but has only one year of experience, drink
If someone says a feature exists because the user saya it should be designed that way, drink
Keep drinking until the UIE Brain Sparks voiceover guy stops trying to use his deep voice
If someone underestimates level of effort because he thinks it's just a reskin, drink
If someone looks at your design and tells you what's going in the first phase, drink
If you're tasked with QA'ing the UI by tomorrow but the build keeps changing, drink
If someone says Agile is more collaborative but then doesn't ask questions during sprints, drink
If you get an error that you've used too many characters in the UX Drinking Game, drink
If the designer says his wireframes are to exact dimensions, drink
If the checkbox is designed to be the size of a grapefruit, drink
If someone congratulates the team after launch but forgets the designer, drink
If someone selects "Reply All" to a job posting on a mailing list, drink
When someone approves the design without client approval, drink
If someone says, "Above the fold," drink an old fashioned
If the designer busts out a 10-circle UX Venn Diagram, drink
When someone agrees to prioritize features by "user delight," toast them
If a limited character text field doesn't display a character count, drink
If the recruiter says she specializes in finding developers and identifies you as a candidate, drink
If you have to submit bugs because the developer didn't read the wireframes, drink
If someone has a in-house designer and hires a freelancer to make a heuristic evaluation, drink
If someone clearly doesn't understand the revision clause in your contract, drink
If someone complains that your wireframe colors do not reflect the brand, drink
If Marketing says a lighter blue would be a better user experience, drink
If the user story says, "Make it responsive," empty the bottle
If someone says you need iOS experience for the job, empty the bottle
If someone asks you to come up with the taxonomy, but then hands you categories, drink
If someone says they want best-practice wireframes, drink
When they want social media but reject ratings because it gives users too much power, drink
If the UX Designer references a post from uxmovement.com, drink heavily
If someone asks, "Why do I have to clear my cache again?" drink
If you see a job with "research" and "detailed design" in the same title, bottoms up
If someone says it needs more texture so they get their money's worth, drink
If someone says your design isn't "webby" enough, swig a little
When someone says they want to make it "like Facebook" but won't let anyone use it, drink
If no one edits the Russian programmer's error messages before going live, drink 3 shots
If Marketing wants to "get into UX design," drink two gimlets
If your UI developer says something "can't be done" just to avoid work, drink a fifth
If your company insists on two hour turnaround but won't invest in a duplex printer, drink
If a consultant evaluates your design without asking about the users, hit them with the bottle
If everyone talks usability but ignores the UX staff, drink
If someone didn't hand off the guidelines because they didn't want to burden the developers, drink
If someone tells you the layout will be designed in Illustrator, drink like hell
If they think UX is throwing content inside a blank page and drawing squares, drink
If someone says it's like Twitter for Twitter, drink from a Klein bottle
When clients visit for a design meeting and you're not included, drink
If your client thinks your mockup is the finished product, drink
If someone suggests using the mouse hover state, drink
When someone wants you to design for who they think their users are, drink
If the instructions require instructions, someone is already drunk
If you bought melamine just so you could make cheap whiteboards, drink
If you carry a whiteboard and dry erase marker with you everywhere you go, drink
If your developers want to recreate advanced search within a modal window, drink
If the only person having any doubts about what the user needs is the designer, drink
If someone uses the word "steroids" while describing the UI, take one (with a beer)
If you dislike how "Next" changes position for each quote on this site, drink
If your boss hires a UX instructor to rant about colors, fonts, and Comic Sans, drink
If the UX manager has zero design knowledge, drink until you cry
When visual designers start working in Photoshop before the wireframes, drink straight scotch
If a visual designer says they don't need wireframes, drink scotch neat
If the developers design the site using tables, go on a binge
If someone says the focus group is too private for UX to attend, do a shot elsewhere
If your company makes products it could use but won't, do a shot
If great ideas only come from executives, head for the bar
If someone runs off the entire previous UX team, do a shot of bathtub gin
If Marketing owns UX, drink up
If lawyers design the task flows and write the copy, buy your users a shot
If highly paid outside vendors create hollow UX patterns that you must follow, drink up
If the most qualified UX designer has the least authority of all, drink heavily
If someone says, "We don't have a web person, can you help us update our site?" drink
If your benchmark reference is Google, drink
If the developer asks you to beautify the page, drink a whole bottle
If you accidentally click "Funny" when you think it isn't, drink
If the cure for corporate silos is another silo, smile and drink
If generating reports for management takes more time than doing the work, do a shot
If the design vendor gives you only PDF documentation and no actual assets, drink
If the product is nothing like the sales demo, drinks all around
If the product looks nothing like product's screen shots, drink
If a reorganization destroys a functioning team, take two shots
If free online tools work better than enterprise tools, drink
If you're designing a site with Lorem Ipsum, drink
If the logo is so low contrast that you didn't notice it until just now, drink
If someone suggests common design patterns shouldn't be used because that's not "innovative," drink
If someone says, "Let's see how Amazon does it," drink
When no one can't agree on the project scope, down the bottle
If the goal is to make it look exactly like something in print, drink
If someone wants to change a navigation element's color so it stands out more, drink
If you retroactively fit the wireframes to the design comps, order a Zombie
If someone calls the UX "world class," drink
Every time you read, "As a user I want to..." in scrum team's user stories, drink
If someone thinks the wireframes are the final design and they like it, do shots
If the UX Designer forgets most users use Windows, beer bong him
If you've received an email with the words "make this look pretty," drink
If someone sneers, "All I hear about from you is users, users, users", have a rum
If someone wants to know how many wireframes before the requirements are done, drink
If someone asks you to "minimize the total number of clicks," drink
If the developers ask, "When do the business analysts do usability testing?" drink
When someone confuses affordance with visual cues, drink
If someone calls you a Unicorn, swap their DQ Blizzard with a boozy Oreo milkshake
When someone says the goal is to make it cool, do a double sambuca
If the users are "nerds" and therefore "know how to use everything," get a scotch
If there's a popup window that calls another popup window, drink
If someone discusses the drop shadow distance, softness and angle, drink
When all drop shadows have drop shadows, double down
For every iframe within an iframe, do a shot
When the demo is made up of images and large text, bring on the pints
If system response time is so slow the session expires, slam a shot
When breadcrumbs add no value to the navigation, drink
If a developer suggests a design framework, ask for a drink with that
If links look like buttons, and buttons look like links, drink
If someone mixes combo boxes with inline checkboxes, down the bottom
When you have to "proof of concept" a framework, drink
If the CEO says, "Make it look like Twitter because it needs to be simple," fetch the Slivovica
If your next deadline is yesterday, drink
If you're asked the aspect ratio of a template when it's almost done, drink
If the entire page has to auto refresh to show new banners, drink
When "Home" is placed within the navigation, ask chase a shot with a beer
If someone says they want to surprise the users by not involving them, drink
If someone uses Bacon, Hipster, or some other Ipsum alternative, drink
If the visual designer is ignored when developer has a visual design question, drink
If the personas provide no behavioural insights, drink a popular beverage
If someone tells you to add a border so it doesnt "float," drink
If most of the images on your web site are of Apple products and you're not Apple, drink up
If your application has the words "OnLine" in the title, drink wine from a wine glass
If the client refuses defining the business goals, drink
If the Heuristic Evaluation is done by committee, drink
If Angel Anderson dances on a table at the IXDA, drink
If buttons and labels are in the brand color of bright red, drink up
If someone asks why your printed design isn't responsive, drink
If everyone gets UX religion but you're still their mockup monkey, drink
If everyone says lets do UX like Apple but has no idea what that means, drink
If someone asks what is the screen size to design for, drink
If your new UI standards are more fashionable than usable, drink up
If someone says it's a game changer, drink
If someone says your wireframes aren't visually appealing, drink
If someone from your team says you are the artist of the project, drink
If someone asks why your wireframes are in black and white, drink
If the CEO says that UX is vital but doesn't invest in user research, drink
If someone says he doesn't like your design but doesn't know how to explain why, drink
If someone asks you to make an icon look better, drink
If the Agile instructor says you should find another to cover UX topics, drink
If someone tells you "buttons should be icons" because "our users are smart", drink
If someone says it has to work in IE 6, finish the bottle so you can hit them with it
If someone says research is not a designer's job, get wasted
When there "isn't enough time" to fix critical usability issues, chug
If someone decides to rewrite requirements after months of UX research, drink
If someone says,"Why don't we just buy a theme to use as our design," drain every bottle in the bar
If your UX Designer carries around a white board in their backpack, drink
If someone refers to you as a "UXpert," drink
If the UX intern says he wireframes in Photoshop, drink
If someone asks for design feedback and all their content is lorem ipsum, drink
If someone wants UX and visual design done in parallel, drink
If you're asked for quick wireframes to convince the client, drink
If the only justification for a feature is "Twitter did it," drink
If someone judges usability by how nice it looks, drink
If someone writes "UI/UX" because they don't know the difference, drink
If someone asks if the wireframe labels are final copy, drink
If you're a UX person working in an interactive marketing agency, drink -- a lot
If someone is proud of being in "Silicon Valley," drown him or her in a vat of Merlot
If someone tells you to create preliminary wireframes in Photoshop, drink
If your agile project plan doesn't engage users until acceptance testing, drink
If someone says, "I can sketch the wireframes for you," drink
When the UX Drinking Game becomes a company standard, buy a round
If the consultant says the same thing and they listen to him, drink
If the developer says no to important changes because they aren't necessary, drink
If company is based on an "idea" and not observing users, drink until dead
When you are sent an email confirming you unsubscribed to an email list, take two shots
If someone asks you to deliver "eye candy," drink until you are blind
If someone says user error, hit the bottle
If someone says, "Can't we design it like the Harlem Shake," drink
If you can't use green because it's offensive to Muslims, drink Coke
When you put the UX Drinking Game on your resume, cheers!
If someone says, "It's too white," drink a White Russian
When the UX Designer isn't invited to the design meeting, drink
Every time you get to do the "I told you so dance," drink a Pina Colada
If someone says disruptive, drink
If you feel obligated to go to SXSW, drink
If your features get cut because the system is unstable, drink
If the UX Designer is the only competent front-end developer, drink
If a developer says, "It works on my computer," drink
When someone hires you to design an awesome website using a bad logo, drink
If someone tells you to lower your expectations, drink
If you land a job on the first wireframe in your portfolio, buy a round
If someone wants results but has no budget to fix usability findings, have a rum
If a Product Manager creates a wireframe in PowerPoint and asks for beautification, drink a double
If usability enhancements were killed by the Product Manager, buy a round
If someone is too obsessed with Apple products, drink
If more time is spent on the April Fools' Day prank than the product, drink
If your biggest concern is to keep the development team busy, drink
If the dialog box reads "Click OK to Cancel and Cancel to Continue," drink
If you have to write all the content, crack open the tequila
If someone asks, "Can we use a pretty cursive font for the body text?" down vodka shots
If the client who owns a Porsche complains about your rate, drink
If the UX Drinking Game is referred to in a college class, drink
If someone says it just has to be "good enough," chug the keg
If your code looks elegant and well structured, drink
If client asks for responsive design and you are given two days for wireframes, drink all the rum
If the user experience is based on "the user wants it," drink inside the Homer's car
If you submit wireframes to creative, and the visuals looking nothing the wireframes, drink
If a developer asks where the UX is on the wireframes, drink
If someone says we can make it accessible later, drink
If there's a discussion about relational databases, take notes and do two shots
If someone says, "I'm a former designer, so i get it," drink a glass of bleach
If a recruiter doesn't bother to look at your LinkedIn profile, drink
If you redesign boarding passes for fun, drink
If someone tells you to download a different browser, drink
If your someone wipes out all of your suggestions because "it's what the client wants," drink
If a product demonstration turns into a discovery session, drink your weight in mercury
If a site you worked on won a Webby award after you left, drink
If development is stopped because the site keeps crashing, drink
If your site is featured on webpagesthatsuck.com, drink
If someone asks for KPIs but can't explain what they are, drink
If someone says you should add a horizontal scrollbar, drink
If someone insists all functionality of web site should be in mobile site, drink a small shot
If someone says they are playing devil's advocate, set them on fire, then drink
When a new stakeholder takes over halfway into the project, get the good whiskey
If someone asks to add more kittens to the UI, drink
If there were 100 sign ups for the beta over a year, serve the final round
If someone changes the design because it's easier then fixing a small bug, drown them in whiskey
If someone asks you about flat versus skeuomorphic design, drink
If the Scrummaster starts giving design tips, drink
If you lost the count of dynamic panels created in Axure and you don't know how to fix it, drink
When you need to install an update to uninstall the program, drink
When you want something and someone says, "Can't we just ask the user?" drink
If someone says every page should target a new browser window, drink
If you are trying to get into user experience and are completely lost, drink
When the team learns costly UX lessons the hard way, drink
If you have to release a video explaining the top navigation, drink
If the website wins an award but the system keeps going down, drink
If your login session times out after a minute, drink
If someone asks why the Lorem Ipsum text is in Spanish, drink
If someone says "screen real estate," do a shot
If you just realized you're one of the top contributors to UX Drinking Game, drink
If the social media team has more say about UX than you do, drink
If someone says good reviews are more important than engagement, drink
When the CTO asks the visual designer do wireframes and not you, drink
If you meet Ian Fenn at an event, buy him a drink
If you're at the SoCal UX Camp, drink
If someone takes the concepts into development without a design, go to the pub and don't come back
If the project plan has a whiskey reference, pour a Macallan
If someone fakes the client's response email, drink
If you spend more time managing your boss than designing, drink
If someone tells you iOS 7 looks like Android, punch them, then drink
If someone doesn't know the difference between a website and an app, drink
If someone wants to build something without knowing the users, drink
If someone tells you all things digital will have a URL, ask what digital means and drink
If you don't have an elevator pitch, drink
If someone says, "Transparency would kill us," drink a zima
If you're asked to do wireframes in two days, drink
If someone brags about the number of wireframes they did, drink
If the rewrite will never be done, drink
When someone doesn't know the difference between radio buttons and check boxes, drink
If your new boss says, "I've managed software teams," chug the bottle
If marketing is authoring your company's design guidelines, drink
If a QA says visual design doesn't match the wireframes, drink
If the VP of Product doesn't understand what you do, drink
If usability testing is only done after launch, drink
If what you were working on for six months was killed before shipping, drink
If someone wants to discuss page content on your sitemap, drink
Every time someone asks for lots of moving pictures, drink
If the animations are stripped down to a static page by the developers, drink
If you need an act of Congress to buy a $100 software license, drink
If someone tells you no one needs data, leave and go to the nearest bar
If someone uses UI and UX interchangeably, drink
When someone complains about the UX but doesn't let you fix it, drink
If someone thinks multiple scroll panes are less effort than full page scrolling, drink
If a system error message reads "Bad Dog!", do a keg stand
If someone uses user experience to justify everything, drink
If someone asks where the navigation is for a one page website, drink
If you are the UX Lead yet spend all your time coding, solemnly sip your whiskey
If the Scrummaster created the wireframes, drink
If someone says, "I need your wireframe to write the user story," drink
If the framework doesn't support responsive design, drink
If someone says, "We'll get back to the UX later," drink
If the user story reads, "As a user, I need you to design a page," drink
When nobody listens to you until the CTO's spouse says it, drink
If the CEO copies the visual designer and marketing on every UX email, cry, then drink
Every time you hear "Affordance," drink
If the website is designed, and someone wants to apply some UX, get hammered
If multiple inline scroll panes are considered user friendly, drink a White Russian
When you enjoy using your own products, buy a round
When no one shows up for the demo, take the drinks home
If your client's email is an AOL email address, drink
When new features are added during the sprint, drink
If the user responds to a true or false question with "Yes," do a shot
If someone expects a discount because they're a friend, drink
When your boss presents your idea as their own two months later, drink for two months
If someone says no testing because they'll tell the user what works, drink
If someone keeps saying usability when they mean functionality, make them drink
When someone misuses the word widget, drink
If you give your best feedback after a few drinks, bring the bottle to work
If the CTO and visual designer do a redesign without saying anything to you, drink
When someone think mobile applications and mobile websites are the same, drink
When the developers need five iterations to get the new UI right, ask for a chaser
When someone says UX and he actually means visual design, drink
If the designer spends most of their time updating Photoshop comps with minor changes, drink
If the developer can't hold their liquor, drink
If your company has more Photoshop comps than wireframes, mockup a drink
If Marketing says they don't like it but can't answer why, drink
If the manager that hired you is fired before you start a new job, buy a bottle
If someone shows a heat map and says, "All that red means they liked it," drink
If the stakeholder meeting has no one that uses the application, drink
If someone says, "The user is always right," drink
When a visual designer runs a UX panel and only talks about flat vs. skeuomorphic design, drink
If someone says, "Can you create an experience like the iPhone," do a keg stand
If the client complains about your rate from their Australian vacation, drink
If a client wants to remove responsive design because he doesn't want to pay for it, drink
When the UI looks like Windows Metro, fetch a metropolitan
When a sprint is dedicated to fixing Internet Explorer issues, slam a shot
If your developer thinks he is the target user, run for the bar
When someone says the user must see the 400 pixel wide logo at every page, drink
If someone wants it to be "sticky" rather than efficient, drink
When someone asks to make a SharePoint site responsive, drink
If a developer gives UX advice but doesn't know front end development, drink
When the engineers get you involved after the functionality is built, drink
If someone says we'll apply UX in the next version, do a shot of whiskey
If you are at a UX event and the presenter doesn't know how to advance to the next slide, drink
If someone thinks gamification means adding points and badges, drink
If someone says, "the smaller the device, the fewer the use cases," drink
When someone sends you a site map created in Word, do tequila shots
If someone says, "Please make it better without changing anything, use design," drink
If the UX Lead is a better developer than the engineering team, drink
Every time someone says mental model, drink
When someone says, "I really like it, but...", drink
If error messages come with a random LOLcat, down the bottle
If a UX expert says, "I know I'm right because I have 10 years of experience," drink
If a test subject says, "I spent a few hours practicing yesterday," drink
If quality assurance questions whether your design makes sense, listen, then drink
If someone haggles with you like they're buying a used car, drink
If the Director of UX has a marketing background, drown yourself in whiskey
If the someone wants to skip IA and move straight into wireframes, drink
If you are in a conference panel that includes five white males, drink
If someone complains that iOS7 is too flat, drink
If someone says it's just a cosmetic issue, drink
If the client asks for a sample home page before signing the contract, buy the office a round
When your boss tells you they just signed up for a Dribbble Pro account, drink
If the default font size is 18 point, drink
When someone asks if you know Objective-C, drink
If someone says there's too much white space, drink
If you are a UX team of one, finish the bottle
If you submitted to UX Drinking Game but didn't know you'd be identified, finish your resume
If the mobile website includes a Full Site button, drink -- hard
If the proposed mobile design is a separate site, drown yourself in a butt of malmsey
When the product manager does not manage the product, drink
If you own the product owner, slam a shot
When someone says, "I know what users will think, so remove the Feedback link," drink
When someone says wireframes add no value, have a Mai Tai
If someone says it's easy because they can do it in Flash, set them on fire
When someone asks if wireframes are the design, drink
If the developer is "graphic designing" your wireframes in MS Paint, drink
If someone wants the call to action to be placed further down the page, drink
If someone says, "We don't need UX, we downloaded a free Bootstrap theme," drink
If someone says, "Can you UX the page because I don't like the blue," drink
When someone says, "I think we need to test this on real users," buy the bar
When someone uses MS Paint to create wireframes of your wireframes, double shot
When someone that hired you finally lets you design, buy them a round
If a design question is answered with "Lets see how others do it," go visit another bar
If you invite four to the design review and nineteen show up, drink before the meeting
When someone asks to change the font color in the wireframe, drink
If one of your blog posts is featured in a Masters class, drink
If the UX Designer is more about talking than listening, drink
If you spend more time explaining why UX is important than doing UX, drink
If the paper prototype reflects the finalized design, buy a round
When the product ships, buy a round
If someone suggests sprinkling flat design on a site, drink
If your designer uses Hipster Ipsum, slam a PBR
If someone ignores your A/B test findings, empty the bottle
If the designer want to makes changes just because the OS changes, drink
If your boss lets the project manager make design decisions, drink
If competition-fueled changes overshadow UX, drink
If the progress indicator is positioned at the bottom of the screen, drink
When the visual designer converts all your charts to 3D, drink
If someone hires a designer off of Dribbble, sip
When you look at a sitemap and it is a user flow, drink
If someone thinks you decide the size and position of buttons, drink
If someone says it needs an infographic, drink
If a developer says he won't implement something because it's inconsistent, drink
If someone says it needs Parallax, drink
If the CTO says we will get to that when we update the UI technology, get wasted
If someone tells you to work your magic, drink
If the content will be created after the design is done, get wasted
If the developer doesn't want to implement something because it's not in the guidelines, drink
If the designer mentions Apple during the interview, drink
If someone lists CorelDRAW in their resume, decline and do a shot
If a resume says that work samples are available upon request, decline and do a shot
If someone mentions pagination, drink
If someone starts talking about the 80/20 rule, drink
If the developers write the UI text, take two shots and update your resume
If you ask about the deadline and someone mentions yesterday, drink
If you teach your development team about progressive disclosure, buy everyone a drink
If your navigation is still five levels deep, get drunk
The someone wants something more flashy, drink
If someone compares the product with a pocket knife, drink
If your developer has design training, buy a round for the house
If someone think the wireframes are the final design, drink
If your project has 25 personas, drink
If anyone mentions soccer mom, take two shots
If someone says the user should be able to do something with the fewest clicks possible, drink
If someone says links should be underlined, drink
If someone says everything should be captured in the guidelines, drink
If a client gives you a blank stare when you ask for their top three scenarios, drink
If someone gives you a blank stare when you ask for their personas, drink
If you can't figure out what a client does from their website, drink
If your customers get tattoos of your mascot, buy two rounds
If your journey maps rely on survivorship bias, start a twelve step program
When they don't include you in user testing, drink
When the CTO starts redesigning things with no feedback, drink
If you have to fix someone's code, drink, then hit him with the bottle
If the Product Manager wants to wireframe without finishing requirements, drink
If the redesign was re-scoped from the whole site to a single page, drink a thimble of beer
If someone thinks users search or browse, join a bar crawl
If someone says popup browser windows are a best practice, finish and break the bottle
If requirements change three times in a two week sprint, drink
If a currency value is stored as free text input, drink a Belgian beer
If someone wants to support HTML5 in IE6, drink under the table
When two developers and the visual designer make UX decisions for you, drink
If elements look too small on televisions, drink
If the scrollpane headers are inside the scrollpanes, drink
When every user story ends with opening a popup, drink
When someone says there is no need for search because users can browse, drink
If someone wants to add more cats to the design, drink
If anyone doubts your expertise based on their uninformed view of how things should work, drink
If someone says rounded corners are more important than functionality, drink
If the user can search in every section but not the entire site, drink
After iterating on an idea and the engineer changes it again, shoot them
If you tell people that you do web design because you're tired of explaining UX, drink
When the last project check-in dates back to 2008, drink
Every time someone says, "microinteraction," drink
If you have to convince someone primary navigation is important, buy a keg
When there's a design critique without suggestions, drink
If someone says the button should be 3D, drink a vodka shot with your eye
If the proposed solution is to use bigger font size, chug
When categories are stackable filters, drink at random
If someone complains about the placeholder images, drink
When someone says the website should work on a Kindle, drink
If someone asks if training will accompany the new design, drink
If Business Development asks you to do mockups, make it a double
If a team hopes UX will solve their internal issues, run away and drink
If someone gets actors, roles and personas mixed up, drink
If you need to make 25 prototypes for a single page, drink
If someone doesn't know what a call to action is, drink
If the product owner walks through requirements then says let's start building it, drink
When the product owner can't describe what they want in less than 50 words, drink
When someone uses accessibility to argue against a change in an inaccessible product, drink
When someone thinks an epics and user stories are the same, drink
If someone says, "Content Strategy isn't a thing," drink
When the product price isn't listed on the product website, drink
When Bing looks nicer than your latest project, drink until the pain goes away
If someone thinks their startup idea is original, drink
If you have to implement parallax scrolling, drink while scrolling
When users can pay with a tweet, ask for beer payments instead
If someone says member experience, drink
If there is no documented strategy on design, drink
When someone says innovation is a requirement, drink
When your CSS fails to load and it makes your site easier to navigate, drink
If someone proofreads your bogus placeholder data, drink
If your demo comes back with all text bolded and italicized, drink
If someone wants to put a close button on a website, finish your drink
If you tell customers you only support IE, drink a 40 for each version you are behind
Whenever someone opens Amazon's checkout experience for comparison, drink
When you receive design feedback from someone with clipart in their email signature, drink
If you only have one designer, buy them a drink
If someone references images in a design document but doesn't read the text, drink
When you yell at a pizza or bank website, have a beer
If somebody says, "We're changing scope," slam a shot
If someone says the UI needs to conform to the golden ratio, drink
When the someone sets the minimum password length to 64 characters, do an eyeball shot
If the team has been working for months and then brings you in to define their product, drink
If you have to tell someone to clear their cache, drink
If you're told you have creative freedom, drink
If you're told you have creative freedom, drink
If the Product Manager doesn't want their requirements challenged, drink
If the someone wants to emulate Zynga with their new business direction, drink
If someone says IA should be separate of UX, drink
If someone calls themselves a visionary designer, punch them then drink
If the user you're surveying uses AOL as their main browser, drink
When the microsite takes priority over the product, drink
When there are scrollpanes within scrollpanes, drink
If you receive the requirements in a Excel file, drink
If there are three different product owners for the same product, drink
If you're asked to help sales design the PowerPoint, do 10 shots
If someone thinks both visual comps and wireframes are called mockups, drink
If it is a requirement for the comps to look good on projectors, drink
If your product manager creates wireframes to communicate requirements, drink the whole bar
If you're given a prototype by the client that matches your wireframes and never saw it, drink
When someone says there's no need for UX, we can just copy our competitors, drink
If Product Marketing can call out the CTO on his bullshit, drink
If someone talks about Lean UX but has never done it, drink
If your top navigation offers product names with no explanation, drink
If someone say acronyms are too casual for B2B, drink
If you're up until 3 a.m. working on wireframes and the next day your work is descoped, drink
When someone tells you they can design everything in Microsoft Word, drink
If a salesperson promises release dates without knowing scope, slam a shot
When the user stories have no acceptance criteria, drink
When your contact form button reads Submit, drink
When new features conflict with existing features, drink
When the design doesn't solve the original problem and adds a new problem, drink
If someone wants to go back to the first design after the 20th revision, drink
If someone says a font looks fuzzy and asks for it to be fixed, drink
If someone asks for high fidelity mockups, have three shots of absinthe
Every time someone says Bootstrap, drink
When a recruiter tells you they found your name in a database, drink
If someone says you have to design in CorelDraw, drink the kool-aid
If you spot Usability Counts without a drink, buy him a drink
If design has a seat at the leadership table for only the right person, drink
If the requirement isn't written anywhere but it's in the code, drink
If someone wants to add a CAPTCHA, bang your head against the wall and then drink
If someone says that the application is pretty, drink the full glass
If your team realizes that you are the customer advocate, buy them a round
If Information Architects complain they don't have their own drinking game, drink
If product issues are "solved" by hiring a visual designer, drink
When someone says hamburger, drink
If the UX process is referred to as wireframes in a Gantt Chart, drink
If you spend weeks creating a style guide and no one reads it, drink
If a requirement is "I want better things on the page," drink
If the inexperienced project manager adds to client confusion, slap them hard and drink
If scrolling should be horizontal because the Azure portal has it, drink
Every time you hear "Persona" misused, drink
If someone asks, "Why are we wasting time iterating on design," drink
If someone asks why you need a larger monitor, drink
If someones says we should fill up that empty space, drink until full
When you realize a newly-coined methodology is something you've been doing for years, drink
When someone tells you that everyone understands the hamburger icon, drink
When someone tells you a critical feature will be pushed to Phase 2, drink
When a developer says it's hard to code modal or lightbox windows, drink
If there's a requirement that only reads "make it easy to use," drink
When your new job includes a locked down PC with IE 6 and Visio, drink to death
When someone used the term Charette and later you realize they mean sketching, drink
When somebody asks you what you do and you can't be bothered to explain, drink
When you get an email pointing out the spelling errors in your annotations, drink
When somebody tells you that wireframes are dead, drink their blood
If someone asks to make the responsive UX bad so users download the mobile app, drink a 40
If someone asks for an update to the wireframes so they match the visual design, drink twice
When flat design are described as too literal a translation of the wireframes, drink
When Axure links break when copying a prototype, down two shots and a beer
If your company practices CEO-centered Design, drink
If someone says, "I don't do it that way," drink
If engineering hired someone you turned down in interviews to be your counterpart, drink heavily
If someone complains about Facebook's UX even if they aren't a paying user, drink
If sales keeps giving you art direction tips, drink till you pass out
If the project is managed in a Word document, drink
If someone rejects your original recommendation, only to come back to it on their own, drink
When someone asks you to use more fonts and colors, drink
If someone thinks the increase in smart phone sales is a fad, head to the pub
If you hear "Context" during a design meeting, drink
If a stakeholder is obsessed with pie charts, drink
If a Product Manager gives you too much "How" and not enough "What," drink
When the first project goal is the deadline date, drink
If the product vision document is empty, drink
If the UX team has lost four designers in the last month, drink
When someone says the wireframes look better than the visual design, drink
When you sent annotated wireframes to a someone and they ignored your notes, drink
When wireframes are sent to a client and they send back identical hand-drawn versions, drink
If someone says UX and UI are the same, bottoms up
If someone asks for a customization option to fix improperly designed behavior, drink
If someone says user research will be a disaster, drink
If someone lists "Intuitive Interface" as a use case, drink
When someone explains CX is important because you do UX, drink
When you have to write personas without conducting research, drink
If you call yourself a design thinker, drink
If someone refers to you as a Usability Designer, laugh and do a shot
If someone uses "mobile first" to mean only the MVP, drink
If someone says SharePoint works just fine on Mac, poor tequila in her eyes
When someone brings you a great idea that you proposed weeks ago and they rejected it, drink
If the header is 400 pixels tall, and someone still wants content above the fold, do a sake bomb
If someone says they are too far ahead in the product roadmap to stop and do UX, scotch up
If you are asked to make a random function more random, drink
If you are asked to make a pre-loader that loads nothing, drink
If Alan Cooper shows up to your event to drink, drink
If someone answers a request for usage analytics with "just use best practices," drink
If someone decides to starts designing without understanding the users, just continue drinking
When someone looks for your UX work on GitHub, drink
If the designer is writing all of the Rails code, drink
If someone suggests skipping UX because "we can whiteboard it," do a keg stand
If you have to change terminology on your information architecture for it to be accepted, drink
If your user experience process doesn't involve users, drink from the bottle
If the head of design's experience is reading the Steve Jobs biography, do a pub crawl
If someone wants to bring you in for a week to wireframe a home page, drink
If your content strategy is adding tooltips, drink
If someone asks you to fix the UX three weeks before launch, drink a case of beer
If "everything is on the table" means moving the buttons or change the colors, drink
If sales includes UX research but dumps it when client complains about the cost, drink
If the developer decided not to build a client approved feature, drink
When someone says UX sounds "made-up," drink yourself into a coma
If someone thinks that demoing a site is a usability study, drink
If someone says we can improve site performance later, drink
If your consulting rates greatly vary on how poor your client is, get wasted
If the website crashes during a customer demo, drink
If someone says a bug should really be a feature enhancement, pour a pint
If someone thinks the prototype is a functioning product, drink a White Russian
Every time you hear Sketch is for mobile only, buy a beer for Adobe
If someone dismisses a usability issue and says it is working as designed, drink a double
When UX and UI are used interchangeably in conversations, drink until dead
If the CAPTCHA is impossible to read, drink
When someone uses a yachting analogy, drink
If someone says we need to think about if from the user perspective, drink
When the designer is force fed design directions, bottoms up
When someone asks, "Where is the UX in my website?" drink
When a debate arises over border style and UX is thought to be the solution, drink
If new features need new UX, drink something with an umbrella
If they ask you to add a slide at the end with swim lanes, drink
If the designer spends more time talking about design than designing, drink
If the CTO leads the design meeting, drink
If someone says, "They don't do it like that on the R/GA website," drink
If external designers exclude the client from design discussions, drink
If someone waits until site is launched to give feedback, buy a 4 pack of hard cider before noon
When you validate predicted usage patterns with data and you're right, drink
If you're introduced to the client as the project manager, drink
If a mockup goes back to the designer more than three times, drink
If someone gives advice about Lean UX but hasn't done it, drink
If the response to your request is, "It's on our radar," drink and expect nothing
If the wireframes were created in Excel, drink a California Cooler
Is someone says, "Make it sexy," neck a pint of cider with ice
If someone thinks branding means picking a color, drink
If someone calls your wireframes "too detailed," drink
If you are told that the 5 to 9 rule can be easily extended to 12, have a mojito
If somebody wants you to add ads to a purchasing flow, buy a round of peanuts
If you're asked to make it interactive, drink
If the launch date was moved forward by 3 months because of management decisions, get wasted
If you are allowed to use only three brand colors, go to a new bar
If you hear "second screen," empty the glass of your neighbor
If you live in Switzerland and your application is meant to work like an army knife, have a Calanda
If your designer uses medium grey text on light grey backgrounds because its cool, have milk
If the company logo appears three times per page, have three tequilas
If the images you`re meant to use are all thumbnail resolution, have a Jagermeister
If someone decides the website should be in yellow, drink yellow beer
If the only colors you are allowed to use are the three brand colors, drink
If someone wants to use PowerPoint graphics, drink a Long Island Iced Tea
If you're told to add the item to the settings, drink
If the designers book a conference room for an Apple announcement, drink
If your client thinks the UXies signify design excellence, drink
If someone thinks a "Bigger than Bigger" slogan will sell mobile devices, drink
When you tap on a screen only to realize is just a demo screenshot, drink
If someone says they want the UX to feel pretty, hang up and drink
If someone dictates website content based on contrived use cases, quit
If getting to market is more important than designing the product well, empty the bottle
When there are requirements to renaming items, drink
If PDF documentation was written for the step by step wizard, drink
If a new bug becomes a feature, drink a bottle of tequila.
If someone tells you no training or experience is needed to design, get wasted
If the UX process has a different name to get adoption in an organization, drink
If someone only focuses the digital experience when explaining UX, drink
When someone talks about cross-channel but focuses only on digital, drink
When the client says, "Don't have sucky UX," drink
If someone asks you add UX to their PowerPoint, drink
When someone says, "It might be what users prefer, but we have to monetize it somehow," drink
If a non-designer says they have an eye for UX, drink
When someone says working with designers is a bottleneck, drink
If the developer says, "I only did what was written in the specifications," drink
If your Content Strategist has never put together a style gide, drink
If someone thinks Courier is a great font choice for a social network, drink
If you visit uxdrinkinggame.com with a Blackberry, drink
If someone says, "just add a user setting," drink
When someone asks, "How will users know they can click this?" drink
When someone wants to call the website a portal, drink
If your Agile practice makes the title an oxymoron, drink
When someone wants a responsive site and all you're given is a PDF from a print designer, drink
Every time someone says, "delight the user," drink
If you don't have access to end users, drink
If you ask for a high resolution logo, and they paste it into a Word document, drink
If you can't find Login, drink and then call the Helpdesk
When someone asks that the static design be made more clickable, drink
If a UX Designer includes print work in their portfolio, drink
If someone rejects the design because it has lorem ipsum everywhere, drink
If someone says, "Make it look like PowerPoint," drink
If a customer says, "Make the content relevant and timely," drink
If they want to use their 1999 logo, chase your drink with Frutopia
When you fundamentally disagree with everything the usability tester says, drink
When you build a working prototype and they test the paper prototype, drink
If your team is being agile by planning out the next three weeks of work, drink three shots
If the usability test spoon-feeds user instructions, drink
If the mobile first design only works on desktop, drink
If the responsive design has a hover state, drink
If the engineering manager has no engineering experience, drink
If someone says "mental model," drink
If someone thinks prototypes are requirements, drink
If someone thinks wireframes are user experience, drink
If someone suggests verbose help language can fix a UX problem, drink
If someone blames the designer for a feature not finished by engineering, drink
If someone already has an idea in their head of what it needs to look like, drink
If your wireframe has been implemented looking exactly like a wireframe, drink
Every time the engineer says, "I don't like the look and feel," drink
If someone thinks light gray is a good color for hyperlinks, drink
When the feedback on the personas is to create more of them, drink
When someone requests a feature outside of the sprint commitment, drink
When someone asks for tabs inside of tabs, drink
Every time someone says, "I want it to use HTML 5 and be responsive," have 3 shots of tequila
if someone says wireframes are unnecessary for this project, drink a Pina Colada
Every time process gets in the way of progress, drink
Every time someone says, "mobile first," drink
If the designers do user research, get drunk before you get the results
If someone tells you that users don't know how to scroll, drink
If your stakeholder says they're a user, drink a double
If your company supports UX but doesn't undestand the process, drink
If the Product Manager doesn't know how to write user stories, drink
If legal "helps" with rewording the content after you're done, drink
If someone complains the slideshow has no back button, drink
When UX review means the designer fixing the developer's CSS, drink
If the CEO is wireframing, buy him a drink
If requirements arrive as wireframes drawn in Microsoft Paint, buy a bottle of tequila
When someone asks to correct a typo on the wireframe, drink
If one percent of your digital transformation budget goes to UX, drink
If your solution to a problem gets rejected because is too modern, drink
If someone says wireframing isn't Agile, drink
When someone hires an interaction designer to make icons, drink
If your wireframe looks better than the final design, drink
When someone suggests a hamburger menu, drink
Every time someone says, "We have train to our customers," drink
If someone says don't worry about use cases, just do a usability review, drink
If someone calls you a week before launch to come fix the design, drink
When someone says the application works only on Chrome, drink
Every time someone calls the personas "cute," drink
If someone asks you to change the wireframes to match what developers actually built, drink
If someone says a missed requirement is the user's fault, drink
If the designer has zero political power, empty the bottle
If the website works only in Safari, drink
If Product Management and UX report to Engineering, drink
If the relevant content in an email matches the landing page, drink
If a someone calls the mockup they made in MS Publisher high fidelity, drink
If someone asks for your source files so they can design, drink
If information architecture is called a strategic task, drink
If engineers interpret usability test based recommendations as "suggestions," drink
If someone says process, drink
When HR favorites your drinking game tweet, drink
If you're expected to innovate without research, drink
If the team has a post mortem and they decide it's all your fault, drink
If someone says they love it but could it be more fun, shoot yourself
If someone says, "we don't need UX, it's an internal project," drink
If CTO thinks he is the only end user, slam shots
If only the text on a button is clickable, drink
If a website automatically subscribes you to their email list, drink
If a field has a length limit but no character count, drink
When the design revisions come back in Microsoft Word, drink a lot
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